Random Tales of Chaos and Joy

I don't Scrapbook

2010-10-28T15:11:00.000-07:00

and this is why: I would never be "done" and I would be hopelessly behind, and I certainly do not need one more thing in my life that is forever unfinished. I mean, I still have weekly dreams that I am in college, it's the end of a semester, and I've suddenly realized that I forgot to go to my 10 a.m. tuesday class for the last two months.

It seems that almost every scrapbooker frets that they are "way behind" in scrapbooking, which is no surprise, considering that moms who scrapbook about their life are too busy doing all the things recorded in their scrapbook to actually cut out pictures of it and paste it on a page with buttons and ric rac. sure, there are those Type-a's out there who are not behind; in fact, they have everything recorded up until yesterday, and they are pasted neatly and artistically to boot (or, better yet, digitally rendered). But I know just as many type-a's who would never even start a scrapbook in the first place. :-)

BUT.

I have this blog. and I am forever hopelessly behind with it.

And, well, I keep a blog for many of the very same reasons people keep a scrapbook. I want to show off pictures of my kids, I want to record (for my own memory) funny things my kids said or did. I want to put in words the thoughts and feelings I want to remember later, maybe because they were funny or poignant, or maybe because writing them down puts things in perspective. I like it as a creative outlet. But, deep down, I just want to put my life on a page, mostly for my own reading and reflection. I want to share it with other people, for sure, but I also want to see the page evolve over the years as life twists and turns and winds its own unique little path. And, like life, it's supposed to be unfinished. And sometimes I'm a little behind on life. and that's okay! Somehow I'll make it to that elusive Tuesday 10 a.m. class and I'll cram for a few days and get caught up and squeak by on the final, and then I'll realize that I had a 1 p.m. Wednesday class, too, and that class actually ended last year and I totally forgot to go.

But, somehow I will still manage to graduate life on earth someday, and what will be left behind is this little snippet of a messy, disorganized, forever-behind housewife's life, and it will be perfect. So, kudos to all you scrapbookers out there with all your works-in-progress. I might not glue things on pages, but like you, I get to see the beauty of life on a page, and I'm not going to feel guilty about being behind.

The Great Birthday Cake Fiasco

2010-10-19T05:49:00.000-07:00

So, full disclosure on this post today.

I admit that I am no Martha Stewart. My bed doesn't have hospital corners (nor is it actually even made), I don't serve dinner on fine china with cloth napkins, I let paperwork pile up on the counter, I can never keep up with laundry and my kids have been known to go long periods with gunk all over their face from lunch. That's okay, I accept myself that way. I have lots of other, more positive, attributes, and my family likes me okay.

Still, you'd think I'd be able to make a simple birthday cake for Cole's fourth birthday. I mean, it was from a mix, not from scratch, so there's no way I could mess that up, right?

Um, wrong.

I tried to be fancy. I had my fancy-shmancy stoneware from Pampered Chef so I could bake my perfectly flat cake. Pulled the cake out, waited for it to cool, and cut it into thirds. Started frosting..realized maybe it's not quite cool enough, as the knife was tearing the cake. Plugged away anyhow, because that's how we impatient non-MarthaStewart types do things, and tried lifting the second layer on top of the bottom piece. that's when everything went downhill, and before I knew it, I had this:

Yes, folks, Martha Stewart I ain't.

I was able to salvage a decent-looking piece that was big enough to hold four candles:

I will say, in my defense, that while the cake looked like, well, that, it was a very tasty cake pile, and I have pictures to prove it.

In fact, during the writing of this entry, I was enjoying a very nutritious bowl of cake.

At any rate, Cole had a great birthday. He has been eagerly anticipating being FOUR for so long, and now he's finally there. Of course, he was disappointed to discover that he didn't magically appear in a classroom that very day, since, apparently, you go to school when you are four. I think that we found a good compromise, though, and instead spent the day at Jungle Java with his best buddy (and partner in crime), and IKEA later for an ice cream cone.

I will leave you today with a picture of my delightful four-year-old:

So, I'm 37 now

2010-09-06T05:13:00.000-07:00

I guess that happens when you have a birthday, you get older. I remember when I turned 35 and posted something on Facebook about having old eggs now. Fortunately for our family, one of those "old eggs" became my new daughter, even though that was the last thing I thought my eggs would be doing at the time!

In the last week or so, things have gotten more difficult. With the baby, yes..she's fussy at night, like many babies. And she LOVES to eat, like, all day. And does not like: the swing, the pacifier, rocking, stroller rides, massage, or even the front carrier for long periods. But the baby really isn't the problem. She's a blessing to our whole family. My hormones, on the other hand, have got to go. :-/ My baby behaves like a normal baby. I behave like an emotional basketcase, at least some of the time. I'm like a box of chocolates - you never know what you're gonna get.

I'm not too much of a basketcase to count my blessings, however. With all my heart, I am thankful for the friends and acquaintances who have jumped to help me and support me and our family, whether it be making a meal or listening to me vent, or just keeping me company when the days still seem so loooonnnggg. I am thankful for my older children, who have really stepped in to help out, and my husband, who, for my birthday, took Amelia during her fussy hours and let me get seven hours of uninterrupted sleep. I am thankful for Amelia, for her health, for the little moany sounds she makes when she nurses, for the way her hand stay suspended in midair when she sleeps, or rest folded across her chest, like a sweet little cherub. I'm thankful for the blessing of a wonderful, hot summer (the way I like them!), for a new car that actually works, for school starting tomorrow. :-) So in my dark hours (roughly between the hours of 5-9o'clock, if you're wondering), while I pray for mercy, I remember the verse we sang in church yesterday,

"Do not be anxious about anything, but in everything, by prayer and petition, WITH THANKSGIVING, present your requests to God. And the peace of God, which transcends all understanding, will guard your hearts and minds in Christ Jesus. " (Phillipians 4:6,7)

If I Wait Forever

2010-08-25T13:23:00.001-07:00

..for something important to say, it might be another year and a half before I actually post something. So I'll just say whatever I can think of today!

So, my car is in the shop, again. My cars, over the years, have seemed to get a kick out of breaking down multiple times, right around the time I give birth to a baby. I guess it makes life more interesting to see a mom 36 weeks pregnant, or pushing her week-old baby in a stroller, and walking across crowded streets with a parade of children, in desperation to 1) get out of the house, and 2) run necessary errands. Very Little House on the Prairie. Come to think of it, horse-drawn wagons would have their advantages. Unless the horse dies, the vehicle never breaks down, and gas is amazingly inexpensive. Since all electronics, or all things powered of any kind, seem to spontaneously malfunction the second I touch them, I often think I'd be better off living in the 1800's. But, man, it would so not be fun to have to tromp out to the outhouse in the snow at 2 a.m. if I have to pee.

Oh, who am I kidding. Even an outhouse seems preferable after years of snaking toilets and finding things like socks, magic gliders, turkey basters, and toilet paper dispensers inside.

So anyway. We are on day 9 as a family of 7. They say (or used to say?) that it takes a village to raise a baby, and I have to say, that's definitely what's going on around here. We end up with so many visitors (who I invited) and a handful of eager neighborhood kids (who I did not invite)swarming around at all hours. Audrey, the little mommy-in-training, is not thrilled about having to share Amelia with anyone...not even me, really. :-) While I admit I'll miss having Audrey around when school starts, I will be blessedly relieved to get all these extraneous children out of my house. At last count, I seem to have enough of my own. I do realize that this is my fault for not having a backbone and making all of them play outside like all the other, smarter, moms in the neighborhood do.

Tonight I do get my baby all to myself as I am going for a girls' night at a friend's house. Ahhhh.

Talk more later!

It's MEEEEEE!

2010-08-21T14:34:00.001-07:00

So it's been 14 months since I last posted, but I figured, I started this blog when I was almost due with my last child, so why not restart the blog when I've just given birth to my big surprise baby, Amelia. 5 days postpartum, I feel ready to begin again, especially after reading through all my old posts from those previous newborn days with Cole. I can't believe how much I sounded like a befuddled and overwhelmed first-time mom, when it was my *fourth* go-round.

In an attempt to move forward with a little less naivete, I thought it would help to write again. So here I am. Read if you want! It will still be random, and still include tales of chaos and the joy that comes with it (most of the time anyway!).

Stay Tuned!

Audrey's a Composer

2009-07-09T17:19:00.000-07:00

Her newest songs: (the first inspired by her mother, no doubt)

Stop Crying
By Audrey

"Stop Stop" Crying/everything is gonna be allright/if you stop crying all of us will stop crying if you stop "to"/so "stop stop" crying/you'er gonna be all right

Well everybody cry's all the time/just stop/just stop/it's all right

Their is Greatness in Love
by Audrey

Love is great and hate is bad/I don't care if you hate me, just love other people

I love you but you can't tell me what to do/Sometimes it's difacolt to say this but/we're gonna stay up all night until we get a party pronto

I love you but you can't tell me "what to"/Parents say it's kinda weird we "aren't listening"/where gonna stay up all night waiting for them to finally say yes

I love you but you can't tell me what to "do"/ sometimes it's difacolt to say this but where gonna stay up all night

short one

2009-04-24T06:24:00.000-07:00

I've been waiting for something interesting to happen so I could blog about it, but things have been relatively quiet around here....not something I'm complaining about, mind you, but just nothing worth writing about. My friend Lori suggested I write about Cole taking a steak knife from the dishwasher to cut his own orange, and then threatening Ashton with it, but to me, that's just ordinary every-day stuff in this house. I did have to buy a purse yesterday because someone (no one is fessing up) slammed my former purse around and managed to crack open a jar of nail polish inside it. I really wonder if they were just merely trying to help me out and give me something blog-worthy.

I'm going to get out today and enjoy the gorgeous weather - it seems it's been a long time, and the waters in my backyard lake are still receding (but not leaking into my basement). I also want to get out in order to remove my messy children from the house, since we have dinner guests and 24-7 Mess Monitoring does not seem like fun. Right now the little seem happily occupied with the new bowling set I got them, which replaced the bocce ball and plastic cups they were using before.

I hope you all have a blessed and warm and toasty day.

Happy Easter!

2009-04-12T02:55:00.000-07:00

I bet you thought I wasn't serious about coming back! But, really, it was just my computer that went dead on me. I had to wait until my darling husband could get me going on my new one so I could resume my rambling. Funny, when he was starting up my outlook, he came across a note he wrote to himself a couple of years ago, titled "what to do if Sally screws up her email" (that's a slight paraphrase). I could be offended, but I think I'd rather be happy that my husband knows me so well. He's often said I have the reverse Midas Touch. Everything I touch seems to break into a million pieces.

This month I've cleaned up two floods from one side of my basement due to a squirting sump pump, one flood on the other side due to an unplugged sump pump and a typical Michigan April snow storm, another flood in the kids' bathroom due to a certain Cole throwing two pairs of socks in the toilet, an expensive trip to the shop for bad brakes (and a tuneup) on my van, another trip a week later for a leaky valve, a trip to the Geek Squad to blow out a mountain of dust out of my ailing computer, and a second trip when the computer completely keeled over so I could be told by the experts that it is toast, and, finally, a family visit to the computer store to buy a teensy tinsy little red computer that is now set up so I can tell you all of this. (and yes, Janet, I would love a Mac one day but what I really need is that Panasonic Titanium steel laptop that can be thrown off a building and shot with a 22 and survive...none of the tests on it included handling by Cole, though).

So now that I'm completely broke, I have plenty of time to sit around and write in blogs.

Since the title of this blog is "Happy Easter!" then perhaps I should be more..rejoiceful? And I am, actually. There are so many millions of ways all my broken everythings could have been a lot worse. We could have had no savings (or no tax return). We could have NOT backed up our hard drive two days before my computer fritzed. My husband might not have figured out how to download my external hard drive into a computer with no disk drive. I could have gotten in an accident in my car. the floods could have been worse, or I could have been bogged down with work and no time to clean up numerous floods. So, yes, I'm praising God. He's good, He really is. And watching the Passion movie again last night reminds me that these piddly events really pale when you look into the face of the One who suffered so much for us.

He is Risen! Happy Easter, everyone!

I'll leave you with a short kid story: Yesterday, I made cookies, and a half hour later, came upstairs to find all of them gone. I asked Ashton, "did you eat all those cookies??" And he said, "I only ate one! (long pause)... at a time."

Revival! Of the Blog at Least

2009-04-07T06:31:00.001-07:00

I've been meaning to re-start my blog for the last few weeks (funny how that always happens) and I decided, why not start it when I'm sitting around with some unexpected free time - I was supposed to be at the gym - while I wait for a plumber to come help us with flood #4 (in the last two weeks). I've never thought I'd be wading in so much water in my own house..certainly not in such a short time frame! Too bad it's not summer, I could get the kids their bathing suits and pull out the beach ball and goggles and we could have an indoor beach party!!

In other news, one of the things that has gotten me interested in blogging again (besides being able to feed these into my Facebook notes) is that I've been doing some soul-searching and taking some actual steps to reduce my working time and increase quality time, with my family, with GOD, with myself. Finally, I see a line - a line that has been drawn to show me how much work is healthy and how much ISN'T, and what the Bible has to say about that. If it's my superior multi-tasking skills or my success in business that defines me, there's something wrong with that!! Obviously, multi-tasking to the point of insanity isn't healthy, and why would I want to be defined as a frantic, sloppy, irritable maniac anyway? I'd rather be defined as a child of God.

So, in order to strive toward that Balance, I'm working to add things back into my life that have been left behind too long. And the blog is a good way for me to remember just how funny life can be. So, if my house floods a million times, and I have to vacuum three times before 9 a.m. (Cole should never be allowed to carry food around), and if my computer continually goes wacky on me, it might seem sort of hilarious later on when it's in my blog.

Sitting around being Lazy

2008-08-26T11:06:00.000-07:00

A conversation with Audrey:

Audrey: Mom, do you want the house spic and span today?
Me: I want the house spic and span every day!
Audrey: Do you want it that way for Dad?
Me: Yes, of course
Audrey: And also, in case people come over, they don't call you a lazy housewife?

I just love my family so much!

2008-08-22T15:01:00.001-07:00

I don't think I have actually talked about my family much these days, but I'm sitting here in a hotel room surrounded by all five of my favorite people and I'm overtaken by my love for them. I love all their quirks and silliness and all their individual traits that make them each unique.

We are on our first FULL FAMILY vacation of the summer. Only two days, to Muskegon, so we can go to the amusement park tomorrow and maybe a park on Sunday. Today we went swimming in the indoor pool, after going to lunch and telling stories that made us all laugh so hard we were crying. I don't know what the other customers thought of all our hysterics, but it was priceless for me. Wesley, lately, gets so tickled by certain things that he nearly chokes himself laughing once he gets going. Andy gave everyone nicknames a couple of weeks ago at breakfast, and Wesley became Guardian of the Bacon (he's a little bit of a control freak when it comes to bacon), Audrey was "Little Miss Greedy Pants," Ashton was "Pooper Scooper", and Cole was "Booger." Wesley kept repeating everyone's names and in the third or so recitation, he was laughing so hard he was nearly purple. I love that he is getting to that age when he really enjoys moments and activities - he doesn't just participate in them. He is relishing life, and I am so blessed by his enthusiasm.

Audrey is such a free spirit, and a lover and a cuddler. She is suddenly into brushing her hair 30 times a day and wanting to wear nail polish and lip gloss. Ashton is hilarious. Everything is something to be discovered or a process to figure out. He is currently obsessed with the pole in my basement "where all the pee and poop goes". Today he was yelling to Dad through the filter in the pool. Cole is such a crazy mix of completely nuts and super-affectionate. One of the stories Andy told today was about an incident earlier this week, when, one by one, the three older kids came upstairs from the basement grasping some part of their bodies and crying. Then up comes Cole, sucking away on his pacifier, happily swinging away with a set of drumsticks. Amazing that my one-year-old can singlehandedly beat up all his siblings and still coming away looking cute and baby-like. He has been singing parts of a song we learned in VBS...funny, the only lines he knows are "We won't be quiet" and "No, No, No, No, No." It's like his theme song.

My wonderful husband and I had a long-awaited 10-year anniversary trip in Chicago, and it was reviving and glorious...as much as we missed the kids, it was nice be adults for a few days. I wasn't quite used to using the restroom without two or three kids standing over me, or getting out of a car without unstrapping carseats and hauling out strollers and screaming like a maniac for everyone to NOT MOVE or else they will surely get killed in the parking lot. It was also just nice to reconnect with my long-lost lover, to spend time with the guy I love and not just the father of my kids.

So, this weekend it is just us. And, while the hotel room looks like a major storm blew through and we've only been here four hours, I'm going to relish every moment and thank God for this wonderful crazy bunch of people.

Shopping!!!

2008-08-13T05:37:00.000-07:00

My friend Diane has a gift for "personal shopping." She has taken several of my friends out to shop and helped them pick out flattering and up-to-date clothing and accessories, so we can stop walking around all frumpy and "letting ourselves go." Of course, we know that beauty is from within, not from outward adornment, but there is a time when one has "let herself go" too much. I was at that place. Being in business for myself and trying to manage a household with four young children is, um, time consuming. So, the first thing to go is almost always my appearance. I don't want to launch into a skin-care regimen at night (when all I want to do is fall into my bed), I don't want to take the extra 10 minutes to apply makeup, I don't even know WHAT to do with my hair, so it's inevitably back in a ponytail. Ashton begs me to leave my hair down every day, and when it is down (on those rare occasions) I get showered with compliments from my four-year-old and my husband. Why not take some pride in your appearance? Your body is a temple, right? And having no regard for it whatsoever is no more glorifying to God than vanity would be. Plus, when you have a husband who is blessed by a wife who isn't ponytailed, makeupless, wearing sweats and covered in paint splatters and grumbling about how stressed she is...that's a good thing.

So, anyway, Diane took me shopping last night. We worked on the basics, mostly, since I've needed some good jeans and black pants that fit properly. It was GREAT. I can't believe how much better I feel just buying the bigger size. When I can pull up a pair of pants and slide into them, easily fastening the button, I feel about 20 times better about myself than if I try to squeeze into something smaller and watch my middle bulge out and spill over the top. When I wear something that was cut for my body type, I feel so much better and more confident. Makes me actually WANT to wear my hair down and put on some makeup! And maybe, just maybe, make it to the gym more than once a month.

What's best is that we prayed before we shopped. What a good reminder that everything can and should be prayed over!

Little Indulgences

2008-08-12T09:00:00.000-07:00

So...I'm making a confession and I'm wondering if I'm the only one out there who does this.

When I was a teenager, and even when I was in college, a childhood friend and I used to go to the local library and stock up on a pile of tween novels, and then we'd have a sleepover and stay up all night reading them. We always felt rather sheepish doing it, but oh, how we loved it. Something about the frivolity of it all or something.

Yesterday I woke up with a whopper of a cold and I feel totally awful. I really didn't feel like doing artwork (still don't and still feel awful, btw), but what should appear in the mail but my all-time FAVORTITE tween indulgence - Hail, Hail Camp Timberwood by Ellen Conford. Perfect timing! Though I don't have the luxury of a few uninterrupted hours, I was able to steal enough to snuggle up in my bed (or in the bath) and read that book for the first time in several years. Just as great as always!

So, what do you do that you're a little afraid to admit?

Nothing, Really

2008-08-05T04:45:00.000-07:00

I don't have anything to say, just didn't want to desert my five readers for too long! And my new blog-reading buddy, C, is encouraging me to write more often, so here I am! And I have really fascinating things to share, like:

We're going to the dentist in an hour!

I have six shirts to iron!

I need printer ink and sticky tack!

I'm making tuna casserole for dinner!

Told you I was fascinating.

Seriously, though, it's sort of nice not to have 50,000 things to share. I thought about posting last week asking where those "dog days of summer" were, but since I'm in between letter shipments, I've been able to take my kids swimming three times this week, and to a sprinkler park at a mall. I've even got sunburn to show for it. And all of this while I was not checking the time or fretting.

And I'm always happy to report that Cole is still alive. It seems it is my #1 quest these days to prevent the kid from killing himself, as he has put himself in grave danger more times than I can count (or want to admit) in the last few weeks.

I got tagged, so...

2008-07-09T12:35:00.000-07:00

Each of these questions is to be answered with one word only! Here's mine:

1. Where is your cell phone? purse
2. Your significant other? couch
4. Your mother? zany
5. Your father? chess
6. Your favorite thing? computer
7. Your dream last night? pregnant!
8 Your favorite drink? coffee
9. Your dream/goal? art
10. The room you’re in? family
11. Your hobby? painting
12. Your fear? accidents
13. Where do you want to be in 6 years? warmth
14. What you’re not? organized
15. Muffins? vanilla
16. One of your wish list items? miele
17. Where you grew up? Carolina
18. The last thing you did? ate
19. What are you wearing? jeans
20. Favorite gadget? computer
21. Your pets? none
22. Your computer? LOVE
23. Your mood? jittery
24. Missing someone? yes
25. Your car? disaster
26. Something you’re not wearing? earrings
27. Favorite store? grocery
28. Like someone? yes
29. Your favorite color? red
30. When is the last time you laughed? afternoon
31. Last time you cried? unknown

I am passing this on to Megan, Cheryl, Shannon and Patti!

Sniff*Sniff

2008-06-17T15:47:00.000-07:00

Today I watched as the camp bus carried my firstborn away for the week! This is the longest block of time that anyone of my kids has been away from BOTH parents, and it's so weird to think I already have a kid old enough to do that!

But it's not so much my baby going off on his first adventure, it's the destination that makes me so teary-eyed. Camp Barakel has, for many years, meant the absolute world to me. It's where I found friendship and true happiness in an otherwise difficult time for me in high school. It's where I learned so many things, even found I like riflery! It's the place of so many memories, as I worked there for several wonderful summers and even for a few winter and fall retreats. But the reason I love it most is because it was there when my Christianity became truly Personal for me. I can't say I was "saved" there - but it's where my faith became something I lived and not just some general sort of belief I had. Not once, but twice I was teetering dangerously on the edge of Trouble and that camp - well, the God who reigns in that Camp - was my refuge.

I prayed today that it would mean to Wesley what it meant to me. Maybe not all in one week of camp, but eventually. ;-) I do wonder how he will do with two chapels a day - he's been a bit spoiled in churches with kids' programs during the service! But I KNOW he'll love all the competition and all the pop and candy and ice cream at the store. Hopefully he's got a great counselor and some buddies already - I was lucky to run into an old fellow counselor at the bus stop, and her stepson was also going sans buddy, so I'm assuming they will probably stay together.

After dropping Wesley off, I took the other three (how is it that I send one child off and I still feel like I have a gaggle of kids with me?) to the nearby outlet malls and did some shopping. Of utmost importance was the Pepperidge Farm outlet. Can't go to the outlet mall without stocking up on goldfish crackers! What else would Cole have to throw at me while I'm driving?

Tomorrow it's off to Montana (Audrey, Cole and me)...

pictures

2008-06-09T04:44:00.000-07:00

Got out in between thunderstorms to take some shots...

What's That Mystery Show?

2008-06-06T13:31:00.000-07:00

What is Cole watching with such rapt attention? Cole, the boy who has never, ever, ever, sat for a TV show that was longer than 10 minutes (and that was a 10-minute On Demand show with all classical music and pictures, sort of a Baby Mozart thing). Cole, who is more likely to throw something on the TV or wipe his grimy hands all over the screen than actually pay attention to any program.

It's my favorite show in the whole wide world. Teletubbies.

Of course I'm kidding. Those scary creatures give me the heebie-jeebies. I'm not entirely positive that they aren't sending out subliminal messages with all that creepy music and chanting, and repeating everything twice. I know it puts Cole in a trance. I'm really wondering what's up with that giggling baby in the sun. That's just strange. I still remember, back in Wesley's baby days, a particularly disturbing episode involving large amounts of tubby custard and the squishing sound it made when one stepped in it. And I won't even start about the gender confusion thing.

But Cole loves it. And it keeps him from standing on the kitchen table and screaming for strawberries. So Teletubbies it is. But I'll be watching Cole VERY closely for any behavior changes...

Summer is So Fun

2008-05-31T11:33:00.001-07:00

I just went to the Mother of all Garage Sales - it's now been nine years since I first went! - a neighborhood sale with over 100 participating homes. It's like a carnival - hot dogs, ice cream and the whole bit. I even saw a guy on a unicycle...nobody on stilts though.

I took all four kids by myself and walked probably a couple of miles, but it's amazing what one can accomplish (sanely) when there are toys and goodies to be bought at every turn and of course, hot dogs and ice cream. It was perfect - right as I spent my last dime, I was back at my car and ready to go.

Ahhhh. Such fun.

It's been another one of those days...

2008-05-27T14:10:00.001-07:00

Not a bad one...it's just another of those increasingly frequent days when I blow off the painting and do *gasp* other things instead. I know, it's sort of crazy, isn't it? But in my Bible Study I was directed to Psalm 127:2 - "In vain you rise early and stay up late, toiling for food to eat - for He grants sleep to those He loves." Not only is proper rest a GIFT from GOD - but it's highly recommended we receive that gift! I think I'm always sort of assuming that the Proverbs 31 woman, with that lamp that didn't go out at night and the getting up while it's still dark thing, must have sucked it up and just pushed through every day, and so maybe I was being noble or godly or something by sacrificing sleep every day and then behaving like a sleepless raving lunatic during everyone else's waking hours. Forget that the Miss Proverbs probably settled down for a lengthy siesta every afternoon, and she was organized enough to do a lot of delegating and smart enough to know when to say No.

At any rate, all the months of self-inflicted stress and fatigue caught up with me, and I'm taking God up on His offer to give the weary and burdened some rest. I'm not NOT painting, I'm just not doing it all day. And some days (more than Sunday) I might not even do it at all. It's exhilirating when I go through the day and get to mark off all sorts of things on my to-do list that have nothing to do with Art. Pay bills. Unload the dishwasher (though that's never exhilirating because I absolutely detest that job). Finish my Bible Study. Tickle-fight with my kids. Fill out health forms for my kid's camp and sign him up for baseball. I find it amazing that I can do everything that needed to be done around the house and I'm still sitting here blogging, with plenty of time left to make dinner.

Tomorrow I'll put away all the dreaded laundry (another job I detest) and maybe do a little art, but not that much...

New Words!

2008-05-19T07:46:00.000-07:00

Cole is saying lots of new words. The ones he's using today? NO and MINE.

The ones he used last week (while in the store holding a large bag of candy) - WANT BUY!!!

Yeah. Hoorah.

Boyz R Gross

2008-05-08T19:04:00.000-07:00

So, I have a few boys. When I imagined my life as a mom of boys, I always expected - even welcomed - the energy and rambunctiousness that so characterizes the male species. I was (and am) game for a good wrestling match or a good splash in a mud puddle. I actually sort of like the rough-and-tough stuff. I'm glad that my youngest is so full of all that.

What I did not imagine - though I should have since I do have a brother and a husband - was that boys are ewwwww! My seven-year-old is displaying all those qualities I'd somehow forgotten were also characteristic of boys. The Gross Factor. Wesley is forever getting tattled on for wiping his boogers on someone, spitting, scratching himself, licking someone's arm or something else disgusting. I have to scold him constantly for belching loud enough to make my paint brush vibrate. There is no dainty "excuse-me" to punctuate all this grossness as one might expect from a girl, there is just the constant reminders from mom to please cover your mouth and say excuse me and please do not spit on your sister.

A conversation that happened the other day:

Mom! Guess how far away I was from the toilet when I peed and I STILL MADE IT IN?

Um.

I was OUTSIDE THE DOOR! IN THE HALLWAY!

Okay, Wesley, here's the Germ-X wipes, please go clean what didn't make it in.

...... A couple of hours later:

Mom, I have to go, do you want to watch this time?

Well, it's Something

2008-04-30T05:16:00.001-07:00

Yes, we've suffered our first broken arm in the Molhoek house. We're not sure it happened (something involving a couch and a toybox) but if someone in this house breaks their dominant arm, it's probably best it's the 3yo who isn't too attached to his right hand. Ashton is such a trooper - he barely cried when it happened (he asked Dad to kiss his boo boo and it was Dad who noticed his arm looked like he'd grown another wrist), and he was very brave in the ER. I was so proud of him. Ashton, the same kid who bawls because it's windy, endures stitches in the nose (last year) and two broken bones in his arm and he merely whimpers.

He was a bit panicky yesterday when he thought he wasn't going to have computer access, but he was relieved to find that I could easily move the mouse to the left side of the computer. The only difficulty we've had is with clothing and bathrooms...he sort of freaks when he realizes he needs help!

But, all in all, I'm glad he's doing so well with the whole thing.

Nothing Much

2008-04-20T03:58:00.000-07:00

I feel like I should at least get it together once a week (if not more) and post, but I couldn't think of anything very monumental to report. So I kept waiting for something BIG to happen, but it didn't (and that's good, Sally, duh), so I'm writing about how I don't have anything to write about. Am I experiencing writer's block? Or does one who writes once every five months in her blog really considered a writer?

I'm taking hubby to the airport today for a three-day business trip. I've got kid and cleaning duty while he's gone, but I'm excited to have a couple days to get this house in order after we had several rooms painted, and if it doesn't rain I'm anxious to get my clothesline up and start tackling stains so I can start preparing for my big annual garage sale. I really thought that by giving away an entire truckload of stuff last year, I wouldn't have enough to have another sale, but alas, the growing mound in my garage is telling me otherwise.

I do have a propensity for amassing large quantities of unnecessary things, a quality at least one of my sisters can't understand. Not that I can. I'm not a pack rat. Really I'm not. But I am easily bored (or is is bowad?) and I'm forever changing my mind about decor or switching things out, which means new things in, old things OUT. And I'm not wasteful, which means those old things are sold and not thrown away. That's just the way I am. Call it frivolous...

Due to my extreme busy-ness, I have been healed of my obsession for buying stuff at other garage sales. That's good, right? Now we just have to work on my problem with walking into IKEA for one thing and leaving the store with 5 bags full.

Okay, see you next week. Or if my kids do something BIG, maybe sooner.

Still Alive

2008-04-13T03:40:00.000-07:00

No, I haven't fallen off the ends of the earth, I've only fallen into a tremendous mountain of letters and can't seem to get out to find my keyboard.

It's almost a year now since I started my little "side" business and abandoned food network and sanity, among other things, and moved in for good to my basement. I'd searched for years to find a way to make my art profitable, but I never dreamed it was this way. I also never dreamed I'd be stupid enough to finally pounce on this opportunity when I have four kids under 8 in my household. Now that the novelty of this whole business has worn off, I can honestly admit that while I can't quite stop this madness, I didn't ever want and don't currently want the thing to take over my life.

God is reminding me of all these things with a twinkle in His eye, because He gave me Cole. When people asked in the past, "how do you handle three boys?" I could always say I had it easy as far as boys went. Ha ha...then #4 proved that there is ample testosterone coursing through his veins, and he's out to convince me. He's also like Audrey - forever "Bowad" (bored - she thinks she's from Boston) - and so he clamors for my attention with antics like standing atop tables, scattering my saw tooth brackets all over the floor, chucking heavy objects around (and at ME), and dropping various household objects into my gallon of latex paint. On any given day, he's equally as likely as I am to be covered in paint. I look forward with great eagerness to that mythical period about which I hear rumors - summer -because the kid LOVES the outdoors. I think we're all sick to death of being caged like animals in this house for the most horrible winter in years, and we're yearning to be free and get out of this dang house already.

I did take the leap a while back and reserve Sundays for Sabbath, and God has blessed that time and I haven't cheated. Only problem is that once I taste of the freedom, I want more of it.

boo

2008-04-08T15:14:00.000-07:00

Did you know that Polly Pockets dolls can stand upright under water?

That's all.

Happy New Year!

2008-01-04T06:47:00.000-08:00

Hi readers! (all two of you) It's 2008. As usual, I have all sorts of Grand Plans for the new year, lots that I want to accomplish, acquire, redeem. But I only have one resolution (as opposed to my mongo list from last year, let's not talk about how that went....). I want to PRAY more. I realized that those wee hours of the morning when I'm alone and painting are perfect moments to pray, especially for my children. So I want to commit to praying for each of my kids and for my husband every morning. I feel like it might be a little more feasible to accomplish all that Other Stuff on my list if I'm praying about everything...don't you think?

So, I know I fell off the blogging bandwagon about halfway through 2007. I got in over my head with this painting business, and Balance was not on my list of Things I Acheived. I gave it a fighting try - in spurts - but really, I was just plain overwhelmed and I was doing a terrible job at just about everything except painting. What I did manage, however, was to get so sick and tired of being so busy and overwhelmed that I learned what my priorities were. The young wife (can I call myself young? ) in the Bible is commanded to make her home and family her priority. Ecclesiastes reminds us that there is a season for everything. It's not the season for me to spend every waking hour holed up in my basement dungeon, painting like a wild person, while my kids are upstairs tearing up the house and screaming at each other.

I streamlined my processes. I hired a couple people to help me manage my time more efficiently. I learned that assembly lines are great! I figured out shortcuts and learned to say "no" or "wait" more often. I stopped acting like a crazy eager beaver and continually seeking out more business when I had business coming out my ears. Now, I have a manageable amount of work on my plate. I can finish in the early a.m. and spend the rest of the day on my priorities. Being with my children. Cleaning. Cooking and baking. Exercising. Reading. And Praying.

Still, I'm only making the one resolution. I think everything will fall into place if I'm walking in the Spirit.

As for the kiddos, they finished off 2007 with a bang. Cole is walking, saying a handful of words, drumming, scribbling, eating with a spoon (or throwing it, depends on the day), going up and down stairs, depositing various objects in the toilet and continually locking himself in various rooms around the house, pointing at everything and making everyone laugh. Ashton is giggling, learning letters, numbers, shapes and colors in preschool, dressing himself ten times a day, going potty and drawing smiley faces. The more language he acquires, the funnier he gets. Every night at dinner he thanks God for the food and for his helicopter watch (a helicopter that fits on his wrist) and his pressure watch (a pretend blood pressure cuff that is on his wrist all the time). He's still afraid of EVERYTHING, but we're making headway in that department. Audrey is LOVING kindergarten and all the stimulation she gets (and desperately needs). She has a ton of friends (no surprise) and is wowing me with all her incredible artwork and creative ideas. She's writing a ton and starting to pick up the whole reading thing. Wesley is thriving in second grade - he has a fabulous, creative teacher and knows more about the Pilgrims than I EVER did. He also knows a bunch of other stuff and relishes the change to relay all his endless amounts of knowledge with anyone who will listen. I am so proud of my kids and how they are growing up. Of course, like any kids, they all have their moments that make me want to tear my hair out and throw it at them, but I wouldn't trade this crazy life for anything.

Things My Kids Said Today

2007-12-07T15:06:00.000-08:00

Ashton: (while taking a bite of a Reeses peanut butter tree today) - "Wow! This tastes just like a real Christmas tree!"

Audrey: "Mom, why do you always say Cole is so cute? It's starting to get really annoying!"

Wesley: (to me after I apologized for being snippy with him before School today) "It's okay, I found a dollar and bought popcorn with it."

Cole: "mom.....mom.....mom......cookie.......uh oh.....mom"

My feet hurt

2007-11-07T12:28:00.000-08:00

You wanna know why?

Because I was in my painting area - not known for being spotless - and I was holding Cole, and Ashton was in the room. Well, Ashton found a SAW, and was waving it around with a big smile, "look what I found!" So, of course, Cole in arms, I attempted to run towards Ashton to remove the saw from his clutches, and in doing so I stepped on about 10 of my sawtooth brackets - pointy side up, and punctured my feet in multiple places (remember, each bracket has two pointy sides...). It was all I could do not to drop Cole as I yelped in pain and suffering. Good news is, Ashton put down the saw unassisted and did not sever any limbs.

Holding Cole might be bad luck. Last week I carried him up from the basement, as Ashton was upstairs and I hadn't heard from him in a while. I walk in the family room to see Ashton, motionless, hanging upside down from the couch with a glazed-over stare on his face, which did not blink or change when I walked in. Alarmed, I called his name. Nothing. No change in facade. No "yes?"or "what, momma?" At this point, my mind goes directly to the thought, "oh my gosh, he's fallen and broken his neck!" I called him a couple more times, nothing. I'm frozen, I can't move, and if I could move I would have dropped Cole. FINALLY Ashton wiggles around and looks at me. I am yelling, "Don't ever not answer momma!!" Apparently, it is fun to stare deeply into the TV from an upside-down position, and that's fine and dandy, but save Mommy's blood pressure and please answer her when she thinks you're dead!

Yes, as some friends pointed out the other day, my mind goes to extreme places and scenarios that others would not imagine. I am fond of googling medical conditions. I can't help it. I must clarify that I am NOT a hypochondriac. I am never really afraid that anything bad will happen to me. But when I am puzzled about weird medical things, I get obsessed wondering what odd condition it could be and I start going research-crazy. I can tell you many of the symptoms of mouth cancer, I know what a questionable mole looks like (and which is carcinoma and which is melanoma), I am well familiar with Chrohns disease, Colonitis, and IBS, I can even tell you about Sensory Integration Dysfunction and Cystic Fibrosis.

I do not plan to become pregnant again, but if I do (by complete accident, mind you), please steal my computer, or at least all my search engines.

Like Mother Like Daughter

2007-10-25T11:12:00.000-07:00

This morning I decided to keep Audrey home from school because she was coughing a lot and I didn't want all the parents to hate me for letting her infect all her classmates. At first, she was okay with this idea...I mean, she was going to get lunch in bed and I made her waffles and sausage for breakfast. I decided to keep her home at 7:30 a.m. By 8:10 she was coming to me, bored, telling me that she really just doesn't know how to "take it easy" and what is she going to do all day?

I often marvel (well, okay, complain) about my daughter's constant 24-7 need for stimulation and activity. I was doing just that (marvelling) this morning, while I was calling the school, making Wesley's lunch, sorting the laundry, throwing away random garbage, cooking breakfast, urging Ashton to go potty, painting letters, priming others, adding ribbon to still others, and putting some in boxes and printing labels, and updating my mental to-do list, and it occurred to me:

Maybe, just maybe, Audrey's problem is a hereditary one.

Oh...

2007-10-21T16:29:00.000-07:00

And if there is another really really long absence, please see THIS BLOG which will keep you so entertained you might just forget about me altogether.

Some Pictures (to catch you up)

2007-10-21T13:20:00.001-07:00

Happy Birthdays!!

2007-10-21T12:54:00.000-07:00

Well, now I can say it's official (barring any oopsies in my future): I don't have any children under one in this household! Cole turned one on Thursday, Oct. 18 and he is a Joy! I will say that he's a very high-maintenance little joy, but he's really dang cute. He's developed this little habit of screaming in pitches that really should not be allowed in the human realm. Usually, unfortunately, it's directly in my husband's ear, which I'm afraid might not continue functioning at this rate. But he's also cruising, pushing a push cart and even letting go of stuff and standing for a moment. He's saying "Mom" and "Audrey" and a lot of other words that might or might not actually mean anything, and he loves to tackle Ashton and smother him with big fat open-mouthed kisses on the face. He claps and waves and proffers hugs to any random passerby. He LOVES drums and insists on using not one but two drumsticks at all times. And did I say he was cute? :-)

Wesley is SEVEN tomorrow! Man, do I feel old. He's enjoying second grade and everything on Nickelodeon, and he has a good buddy this year, appropriately named Bud, and they're over at each other's homes every day after school. I don't know why, but I just love how we answer the doorbell and see a little guy saying "can Wesley come out and play?"....it just seems so surreal to already have a child in that age group.

We didn't do much for birthdays this year. I'm trying not to throw too many parties in fear that all four kids will demand a huge party for every birthday, which is, um, pricey. So we're taking out Wesley and one friend for dinner tomorrow. And last night we had fried chicken and ice cream cake and sang to both of them.

All the kids wanted their pictures taken. Audrey said, "take a picture of me eating my cake!"

Wesley said, "Mom, take a picture of me acting like I'm enjoying myself!"

Cole said, "SCCRREEEEEEEEEEEEECHHHHHH!!!!!"

And Ashton said, "Take a picture of my mashed potatoes!"

To be Continued...

2007-10-21T06:34:00.000-07:00

Off to church right now, but when I return I plan to post a LOT of stuff! Pictures too! So stay tuned! I apologize deeply for the complete lack of posts....but I'm ready to begin anew because I'm on the verge of a nervous breakdown and I need BALANCE!!!!

They'll Make a Girl of Him Yet

2007-09-05T04:28:00.000-07:00

Well, whaddya do. Audrey wants a sister and she'll take whatever willing party she can get, I guess.

So, anyway, today is my birthday. Birthdays are SOOO unexciting nowadays. Usually, I can't even remember how old I am anymore and I barely remember that I got older in the first place. It's my birthday? Oh yeah. *shrug*

I did try to "sleep in" this morning, but after weeks and weeks of getting up at 4 a.m., I realized that it wasn't going to happen. I tossed and turned for a while and finally got up at 6 or so. Since being up, it hasn't felt very birthday-like around here, except I got a GREAT birthday present - Ashton actually used the toilet for the first time EVER this morning. Then he begged to put his diaper back on (which I wouldn't do in hopes that he'd eventually go #2 on the potty as well) but he decided that it was a fine time to learn to put the thing back on by himself. So now that I know he can put his own diaper on, I think I'll tell him to change his own diaper next time he poops. :-) I know my husband would be relieved!

So, today I have one kid in school half of today, one in school all day, one who is being whisked away to a pool party, and only ONE with me!!! And I'm going to be doing grand and glorious things with my time. things like cleaning my garage for an impromptu garage sale I'm having tomorrow, and priming a bunch of growth charts. I know, I am the most exciting person ever. You all want my life. But this really is grand and glorious, because with all sorts of missing children, I can clean my garage and NOT come back inside to a disaster of epic proportions.

Well, I must go attend to the very fun task of fighting with my daughter over what clothes she will wear to school today, so I'll be back. soon, I promise.

I'm BAAA -ACK! So soon!

2007-08-10T13:35:00.001-07:00

I'm just catching a teeny little moment in time when I can say that ALL FOUR KIDS are sleeping!!!! It's about time! Actually, I sent Wesley and Audrey to their rooms for fighting and forgot about them, lol. But seriously, they needed the rest. It's been a busy week. We had vacation bible school, which was really great this year, and a carnival last night, and then a trip to the park this morning. More McD's breakfasts than I care to admit. Errands to the convenience store and JoAnn's and the produce stand. Lots of fighting and house-trashing. And I, of course, was (let's all say it together in unison) - PAINTING LETTERS. And drawing 80 million sketches of letters.

In fact, I should be painting right this minute. I also should be cleaning my house, but two kids are sleeping on the couch right now and I'm terrified to do anything that could possibly wake them up! I mean, this is monumental. I'm off to go enjoy the peace and quiet - for another ten minutes if I'm lucky!

Ugh a Lug

2007-08-06T13:02:00.000-07:00

I wanted to post only because I promised!

I have a splitting migraine...again. I think I'd like to cut off my head and sell it.

I went to VBS this morning, and between groups of kids coming in to do a craft, I got caught up on my paperwork...what better place, huh?

Then I took the kids to the chiropractor, then to the doctor. My kids pulled out toys and all their gold tokens from VBS and Audrey removed her shoes and they managed to trash the doctor's office while we waited for the doctor. I'm pretty sure there is nothing they can't trash somehow.

Then I came home and battled with usps.com and lost. It took me over an hour to print four mailing labels, and even then I had to get really creative to do that. And my computer was slow. And Cole was fussy (shots). And the kids were trashing the living room and fighting (that's normal, almost not worth mentioning). I got all my packages on the front porch five minutes before the mailman arrived.

Then I went to work on my third set of letters for the day (remember I wake up at 4 every day now) but Cole was beside himself and this migraine is worsening by the minute, so I might just have to accept that I will be behind and go take a nap.

Excuses, Excuses

2007-08-04T16:31:00.000-07:00

I know it's been forever since my last post. I have all sorts of reasons for my absence, none of them very convincing, since I have still been on the computer multiple times every single day since I posted. I could blame my never-decreasing pile of wooden letters, my husband who does not like this letter one little bit and would like his wife back one of these days, my children who can trash the house much more quickly than a team of professionals could clean it, or a newly mobile baby, or, or, or.

But seriously, the reason I haven't blogged is because I never seem to have anything substantial to say. At least nothing that would take longer than a sentence to report. It seems I'm constantly storing up little tidbits in my head, thinking "that would make a great blog!" but then I think, well, I'll wait a little longer until I have more to say than *just that*, and by the time I think of it again (okay, IF I think of it again) it's old news, or boring news, or something more exciting has happened, or I just plain don't remember how the story went in the first place. Like, this morning, Wesley came downstairs like the dutiful firstborn rule-follower he is, and, referring to our new list of House Rules, he knew that there would be a Punishment for taking food without asking. So he asks me if he could have some cereal. I said no because Dad would be up soon and we'd probably go out for breakfast. And he said, "Well...see, I accidentally poured a bowl of cereal for myself..." See, there really isn't enough substance there to take up an entire blog...at least not one that anyone would read!

BUT, if I posted every day, then I could write short little blurbs and include all things substantial and unsubstantial, and you all could have the enormous pleasure of tapping into my stream of consciousness and witnessing how truly fascinating (ha ha) my life is on a day-to-day basis. So, if there is anyone left who reads this blog (I'm thinking Shannon because you get alerts when I blog and Cheryl because you are just so faithful), get ready to see a lot more posts! And pictures, too.

Back from Vacation!

2007-07-02T07:51:00.000-07:00

Hi All! Long time no write, I know, I know!

We’re back from vacation! Intact! In an effort to make up for all sorts of lost blogging time, I’ll try to recap for you.

We survived our excursion to the other side of the state to visit strangers from the internet, and they didn’t murder us and we didn’t murder them. In fact, we had a very good time. We stayed in their fancy camper and I painted three murals for them, and our kids had a blast with all their stuff. We went to boardwalks and beaches and ice cream shops and pizza places, and we had a bonfire and s’mores one night. They are the night-est of night owls and suffered through my kids and myself waking up at the break of dawn, my kids demanding breakfast the millisecond their eyes popped open.

My stranger-turned-friend is a certified car seat tech, and she helped me purchase and install new (and safer!) car seats for my kids.

Cole finally learned to sit up. And now he’s getting his belly off the floor and scooting a little, so maybe he’ll be crawling soon? Audrey learned to swing a swing by herself and Ashton learned to pedal a tricycle. Cole had his first swimming pool experience.

Ashton overcame all sorts of fears. He conquered his fear-of-water while playing in Lake Michigan, during which time he repeatedly waded too far into the deep end, tripped and got his face wet, and waded back crying….over and over again. He also, to his great delight, realized that the loud planes flying overhead at the fireworks show did not signal the End of the World, and once he figured he was still alive, he enjoyed every moment of the fireworks show in Madison, WI. (the show was amazing and it was set to music!). If that wasn’t enough, his fear of large energetic dogs was overcome and he frequently snuck outside to throw Frisbees for my sister’s golden retriever.

Andy was thrilled to find ladder ball at every destination. And willing (males) to play it with him.

We took a very, very, very bumpy ride across Lake Michigan to Wisconsin. Thankfully (oh so, so thankfully) we all took Dramamine before sailing, so the kids went immediately comatose as soon as they were sitting. I was sitting near the bathrooms, and while there was a good movie playing, I saw much more action right next to me, as people continually stumbled past me to go puke.

Ashton’s new favorite phrase is “Why’d you do dat to my pizza?” This oft-repeated line dates back to the meal during which Wesley decided Ashton didn’t want pepperoni and pulled every last piece (cheese included) off Ashton’s slice of pizza.

We got to spend time with Aunt Sharron (my little sister), who Audrey adores. We went to the pool, played in the back yard, went to the park, hung out with the kids she watches, went to the fireworks show, went to the fair rides. Sharron did Audrey’s hair and painted her nails.

Cole got spoiled ROTTEN and spent every night in between Mom and Dad in bed. We’re praying this trend does not continue now that we’re home. He’s also eating like a horse. Nursing does NOT cut it anymore. The kid has zero teeth and he is still trying to steal my pork roast at lunch.

I still managed to waste time on the internet.

I did enjoy a much-needed four-day break from painting. Once I finished my murals, I put away the paintbrush and realized just how much I’d been missing just hanging around with my family. Things like holding the camera in front of Ashton and myself to take silly pictures, singing into a fan, playing patty-cake with Cole, eating snow cones and blue ice cream, pushing my kids on the swings…being busy just isn’t all it’s cracked up to be.

First Day of a Very Long Summer Break

2007-06-16T02:54:00.000-07:00

Well, after 12:00 p.m. yesterday, I had to confront my fears of having all four kids at home. ALL summer. And, surprisingly enough, my biggest fear - that they would tear each other's hair out and maul one another. No, they were actually, surprisingly, nearly, pleasant.

My biggest adventure happened around the time andy was arriving home and I was just about to nurse Cole. The kids, who had been outside, suddenly showed up, one at a time, each reporting the EXACT same thing: they were bleeding from the bottom of their foot. They EACH proceeded to walk over to my white carpet after that (much to Andy's shock and dismay). Curious as to how such a feat could be accomplished (3 identical injuries in 5 minutes), I went outside to find my Corelle plate in the driveway. Remember those? They stay true to the claims that they don't break. What they ACTUALLY do is shatter into thousands of infinitesimal pieces. Ashton had apparently thrown the plate on the driveway (with much glee I imagine), and then all three barefooted kids decided that they must then walk on the shards.

A few bandaids and a thorough sweep later, all was fine, but I'm wondering how in the world I'm to survive the next three months!

It's 7 a.m.

2007-06-07T04:02:00.000-07:00

And I've already:

finished a set of letters and photographed/emailed them
varnished another set
folded a load of laundry
rebooted another two loads
partially unloaded the dishwasher
made my coffee
gotten wesley's lunch ready
served breakfast to three people
nursed the other person
checked and responded to e-mails
broken up at least one fight
listened to crying and whining from my 3yo for 1 hour (so far)
changed a nasty stinky diaper

And now I've written in my blog.

So, how many hours until bedtime?

Happy Birthday Ashton!

2007-06-03T16:12:00.000-07:00

My little sweetheart is THREE! He got lots and lots of airplanes for his birthday (and a couple Veggie Tales CDs - he loves the Hairbrush song...or as he sings is "Oh Where is my Toothbrush?"). It was a big day. Cole was dedicated at church and my sister and her three kids were visiting as well (7 kids under 6yo in one house, can we say S.T.R.E.S.S.?). Ashton had a good time with it all. He's talking more every day and is, as always, my big goofball. So fond of all his sound effects. Singing. High Fives. Trying very hard to keep up with big brother and sister, who have a slight tendency to steamroll. Now if only I could rip that binky out of his mouth (and put it back in Cole's) and get him to consider a trip to a potty one of these days...he'd be a veritable grown-up!

Speaking of steamrolling, that's Cole's method of choice. He's a rolling maniac. He can't sit up and he can't crawl but he can roll like a pro. Currently he's in the jumperoo and discovering the joys of bouncing. He's a live wire. Don't let his inability to sit up fool you. God is just giving me a grace period, because I have a feeling that when this kid IS crawling and/or walking, I'm in big, big trouble. That means that my other three kids are going to have to miraculously transform into clean people, or I will have to spend 75% of my days walking around behind my little Pigpens and cleaning up all the little things and doodads and dangerous choking hazards that they leave in their wake.

So, anyway, I'll leave you with a family picture. Us, in all our glory. Ciao.

I have a Disease

2007-05-22T08:37:00.000-07:00

It's called ICantStopItis.

So, I've been strung out as usual. Last week I had a couple of days when I had no orders to fill because I was waiting on a large shipment. So I had a garage sale for three grueling days. Then I did a mural. Then I came home and burned the midnight oil for several days to fill six orders and get them all shipped out. The end was in sight, at least for the time being (until my next shipment of five orders), and at this moment, I have six completed orders sitting on my front porch, waiting for the postman. So what did I decide to do? List my letters on a different website, an eBay-like site that sells all handmade items. I got two orders within the hour. Now I have two auction sites to manage, endless e-mails, shipping to handle and of course, orders to fill. Because I have this disease, I am painting switchplates for one of my customers and canvas-painted letters for another, because apparently one of the symptoms of this grave illness is to continually accept any and every job and to never be satified with JUST selling ONE thing.

I'm trying to do all of this while still being a good and attentive mom. Yeah.

Actually, I do feel like we've had some good time together. My letter-painting obsession has kept me at home more than usual, so we're not constantly driving (can't afford it anyway) and going places. I've had some one-on-one time with each of my kids, and Andy is having a blast getting outside with them. Audrey is a little slugger and can knock an overhand pitch nearly over our fence. Wesley is a bicycling maniac. Ashton has taken to singing. He's also goofier by the minute, and his budding vocabulary makes him all the more interesting. Cole-7 months- is gorgeous, and smiley, and a real cuddler (my first). He is STILL not sitting up. Why sit up when you can get carried everywhere? He is still mega-high-maintenance (like I said, why sit up when you can get carried everywhere?) and wins the award for Crying Endurance. There's no CIO in this house, only C. "IO" simply does not exist.

Which reminds me that there is WAY too much C in this house. I think there is someone crying during every waking minute of the day. I exaggerate. But it's at least every OTHER waking minute. Audrey and Ashton will be walking along and just drop to the floor, tripping on air. Wesley will cry about every injustice done to him in life. Cole will cry if someone is not bowing down and catering to his every whim every second of the day.

So someone asked me why, during this hectic season of my life, that I would take on a side business ("side"...HA!), and I told her it's because I'm an idiot. I blame the disease. Are there meds for this?

Doctors and Hospitals and Dentists, Oh My

2007-05-08T02:30:00.000-07:00

The Molhoek family is making up for lost time in the fields of medicine and dentistry. I am not the sort who goes rushing to the doctor for every cold. I am also not the kind of mom who goes to the doctor (right away)when I've got bronchitis for five weeks or a developing case of strep. I just hate having one more thing on my to-do list and I hate spending money. But when you've gotta go, you've gotta go. And it seems we've had to go a lot lately.

First, Cole had his six-month appointment. No biggie. But he was a week early for shots so we planned to come in the following week for pokes. 2 days later we're in there because of his horrendous growing rashes, and then promptly sent to the hospital because he had a fever. Meanwhile, I was developing what felt like strep, but ignoring it because I'm cheap. And gargling continuously with hydrogen peroxide - which WORKED. You must try. Anyway, I digress. Cole started improving, and when he went in for his shots, he didn't even cry. He just sat there. I guess that after having little gremlins eat all the skin off your neck for a week, crying over a wee shot is for sissies. (Or, in other words, for AUDREY, who had to get her boosters a few days later. She didn't kick the nurse or hide behind the door or anything, which is a bonus, but she cried! And cried! And cried! But this is not new).

So, after Cole's shots, two of my kids were roughhousing and Ashton got shoved into a lamp by a certain unnamed 5yo female and so we loaded everyone in the van at 6:00 pm and took a Molhoek Family Outing to the Urgent Care for stitches. Ashton got three and he was a real trooper. Didn't move or flinch and even sat there saying "needle inside" as he watched the dr. with the needle poking around, one inch from his eye. He cried a lot less than Audrey did, but I guess I should expect that. Boys. You know, they have to be tough.

So, while all of this medical drama was unfolding, we had scheduled dentist appointments. I blogged that I was worried that Ashton and I might have cavities. Nope, we were both cavity-free and received commendations on our excellent brushing skills. Then came Audrey. She's had two cavities before and now it appears she has TWELVE. I really do brush her teeth and make her use anti-cavity rinse! And she only drinks water and eats more healthfully than the boys! She just inherited rotten teeth (and apparently I mean that literally). So we'll be spending half the summer in the dentist's office. Joy of joys. Since then I've become the ever-vigilant brushing police. She has two wiggly teeth, almost ready to come out. But yes, you guessed it, the ones about to fall out are two of the six remaining teeth withOUT cavities.

Wesley lost his first tooth on Sunday. And then lost his lost tooth. So he put a note under his pillow to explain. There was no money under the pillow in the a.m. and my husband told Wesley that he checked his cell messages and there was a call from Ms. Fairy explaining that she was behind in her schedule but hadn't forgotten Wesley. So there was a dollar under his pillow later that day. Silly Fairy, she really should get her act together. She must have four kids six and under at home.

Today we have a follow-up at the dermatologist for Cole and stitch removal for Ashton. And my nurse-practitioner friend thinks I should really get an x-ray for my finger, which - six weeks later - is still red an inflamed and hurts like crazy. But you know me. I think I'm all doctored out for the time being.

So it Only Took 6 Months

2007-04-30T11:34:00.000-07:00

To get a halfway decent picture of my brood.

And I couldn't resist the pic of Cole and me. Isn't he just DELICIOUS??

Walking Around a Little Lopsided

2007-04-26T03:54:00.000-07:00

okay, so not literally. But I feel like it. I just can't seem to feel on top of things. I'm scattering to and fro like the rabbit in Alice in Wonderland...I'm late! I'm late! I never wrote down any of my appointments and the list of appointments keeps growing. My business is picking up, which is good, but I can't paint letters all day while my house falls apart.

So a little balance would be good. And some good health, for once. Cole's rash got so horrendous that I finally took him to the doctor, who sent him to the hospital because he had a fever, too. I got excellent service at the hospital, which was wonderful, and they sent us home armed with 3 different ointments to slather all over my child. Cole was determined to have some mix of eczema and yeast that somehow got infected with an as-yet undetermined species of bacteria. He has been beside himself with discomfort so I'm praying he heals. And I'm praying that *I* heal. My throat is killing me.

We have dentist appointments today. Ashton's first. I know I can see at least one cavity on my own teeth and I'm just really, really hoping that the kids don't have any.

Okay, well, since the kids are all clamoring for breakfast, I need to download photos for eBay, make Wesley's lunch, load the dishwasher, paint some letters, and find my dental forms to fill out, then I really can't stay and ramble any longer. I know, I know...don't cry. I'll be back.

Sorry...Long Week

2007-04-22T16:58:00.000-07:00

I have been a blogger slacker lately. This week has been sort of...weird. I got back from Arizona and was just WAY off kilter. I can't seem to find my groove (did I ever have one???) and the mountain of laundry that we have to CLIMB just to walk through the hallway is a big clue that I'm not just imagining things. I spent most of last week running in and out of zillions of stores (with three of my kids) gathering items for our MOPS craft, so nothing much was accomplished.

good news: My computer is FIXED! I still don't have it (we're getting new RAM installed) but thanks to Cheryl's advice (thanks, Cheryl) our friend at church resurrected my computer and I'm happy as can be. Note to everyone - if you haven't backed up your hard drive in a while, DO IT NOW. That's an order. :-)

I've been slightly obsessed with figuring out this ebay thing. I did get three orders in the first two weeks, which isn't bad considering all my competition and the fact that I don't have as extensive a portfolio as some of these women who have been doing it for ages. Still, since this is all new, I spend WAY too much time on the computer or down in my basement painting.

The weather here has been absolutely glorious. It's like I didn't even leave Arizona. I'm afraid that the last cold snap (which I missed, thank you God!) ruined our chances of getting a good bloom on my cherry tree (wah). But who cares, it's warm, darnit. And the kids can play outside!

I'm sick. I have swollen tonsils and a fever. I can't remember the last time I had a fever. I feel fine after Tylenol kicks in, but then I'm back to feeling like sludge when it wears off. And Cole has the WORST case of yeast in his neck folds that I've ever seen. Poor kid. He developed a special cry JUST for his apparent disomfort due to neck rash. It looks like all his skin has burned off. I've been slathering on the prescription cream, to no avail, but other things I'll be trying (besides calling my dr. which I'll do tomorrow) are yogurt with acidopholus (applied directly to the skin), lotrimin and corn starch.

If I don't feel too terribly ill tomorrow, I'm playing a major game of catch-up in this house. It's a major disaster and my laundry issue, rather the laundry pile, has grown to ridiculous proportions. More later.

Computer Go Bye-Bye

2007-04-17T04:57:00.000-07:00

Well, I'm back from Arizona and was all prepared to post The Most Adorable Picture Ever of Cole sitting on the plane, and other fun pictures, but lo and behold, while I was on vacation my laptop decided to die a very dramatic death and crashed rather suddenly while I was sitting in the sun with my friend. (the laptop was sitting in a nice air-conditioned room at the time) I suppose that someone, somewhere might be able to fix it, but my husband is not very optimistic, since all sorts of corrupted .sys files are apparently bad. :-/

So, since I haven't backed up my hard drive since July, I've lost countless photos, many e-mail addresses, several of the websites on my favorites list, my Word files, my beloved monthly menu plan. That'll teach me. By the way, if you're reading this and your e-mail has changed since July, could you pretty-please shoot me an e-mail so that I can write you?

Anyway, Arizona was pretty fun. The weather was definitely an improvement, considering it was Snowing, in April, here in Michigan. It was great to see my friend and her brilliant toddler and darling baby. We went out a couple of times and had fun. We did, however, stay cooped up a lot at home, because her car does not hold four car seats, and we were awfully afraid that our two toddlers might just kill each other...or if not, that we might kill ourselves after listening to them fight almost constantly. so much for me resucuing Ashton from all the fighting at home! I just brought him to Arizona so he could continue throwing major tantrums and crying about everything over there. :-) The airplane trips were surprisingly glorious. The kids were so good, I was tempted to spend the next year doing nothing but sitting on seats for hours at a time with them on my lap, since that seems to be what they want. Undivided Mommy Attention for hours on end. Sure, nothing would get done in life, but my kids would be happy.

I did paint a mural for her, and luckily, I uploaded it to my photobucket album before the Great Crash, so feel free to view. I also kept up with my second week of eBay listings, and I'm slowly getting better and figuring out the best way to market this stuff. If any of you have a friend who wants letters, or YOU want letters, please go find me on eBay! These make great baby shower gifts, hint hint...

Audrey's Prayer Tonight

2007-04-05T17:26:00.000-07:00

"Dear God, protect me from all the monsters and help me be good tomorrow and today was a good day, and I'd love to have a little sister, but I know that didn't happen and a deal's a deal...."

Your Needs

2007-04-02T06:32:00.000-07:00

Here's an assignment for you:

Google "{your name} needs" and find the top ten needs that you have. :-)
Here are mine, apparently:

1.Sally needs a suitor who is capable of tending to her dreams and is willing to be second priority so that the people can come first. ... (this was from an anti-Sally website, apparently)
2. Sally needs YOUR HELP!!!
3. Sally needs to be reminded to multiply before adding (problem 1), that. 4. 2. is 4 X 4 = 16
4. Sally needs to update the partner's name in a couple places
5. sally needs a good home
6.Sally needs your help. Every month she works hard and earns a decent living, but she. always struggles at the end of the month to pay her bills
7.Obviously, access to the Internet will not meet all of Sally's needs,
8.Gas Chamber For Sally (Needs A Drummer!!
9.Sally needs to make progress
10.Sally needs more information. Why doesn’t Sally’s project manager want to discuss project risks?

Quarterly Resolution Review

2007-04-01T11:41:00.000-07:00

Well, one quarter of 2007 has already passed (can you believe it???). It's time to see how I've been doing with my New Years resolutions.

1. Okay, this is on everyone's list, but I want to change my eating and exercising habits.

My grade: B-. For exercise I get an A but I was a real slacker in the eating department. Far too few nutrients, far too many fat grams. Not enough water. So this quarter I want to focus on quality foods and lots of fruits and veggies and water, and I want to continue working out 5-6 times a week and meeting my running goals. Oh, and by the way, I changed my running goals because I already met my first goal...I ran 3 miles in 32 minutes a couple of weeks ago.

2. I want to start cooking more and learning new recipes...My goal is to entertain and cook for other people at least once a month, ideally including people from my neighborhood or friends I don't see very often.

Grade: A- We didn't entertain in February, but that was due to scheduling problems (we tried)! We had people over at least four times in January and one or two times in March.

3. I want to put Cole in his own bed.

Grade: A (and I don' t even cheat). I did it the next day. There are times when I am running a groove into the carpet with all the walking-back-and-forth, but lately I've only been up once or twice just to re-bink. He and I both like our space.

4. I want to actually stay within my grocery budget.

Grade: C. I am closer to hitting it, but I still haven't managed to come under that magic number yet. And we've started to lapse back into the frequent dining out (on weekends anyway) and that's just more money that we don't need to spend.

5. I want to keep up with my current to-do list on my online housekeeping forum. I have been doing this with much success, and I'll be adding "read Bible" and "exercise" to those lists.

Grade: A-. My list is going strong, and I'm keeping busy. The "minus" is only because I keep myself a little too busy, and if I keep it up, I might face burnout.

6. I'd like to finish some house projects in 2007. The mural behind Audrey's bed, the boys' dresser, the basement safari mural. And I'd really like to find a way to make my artwork business profitable.

Grade: C. Haven't really done any of that, but not for lack of trying. More because my baby does not like to be ignored. :-) I am discussing a website with a lady and I'm trying to figure out eBay, and I have made some profit in the last three months. But the home projects - um, not gonna happen...yet.

7. Speaking of that, I'd like to find a way to get all my artwork sold and get rid of lots of stuff so that our garage becomes available for other things, like cars.

Grade: ? I sold a LOT of artwork at the Mom2Mom sale, but I have an ever-growing pile of stuff in the garage anyway. I'm hoping for a not-too-rainy summer and a great garage sale season. This item on the list MUST be done by the end of the year, per hubby's [desperate] request.

8. I'd like to implement a lasting and effective schedule for my kids, using charts and time-outs, Super-Nanny style.

Grade: B. The chart really works, but I have to be more consistent implementing it. We do have more of a bedtime routine now, and we have established "places for things" and some new consequences for certain infractions. My big focus for the upcoming quarter will be to plan out an eating and snacking schedule. We have been having very regular family meals and game times, though.

9. I want to grow in my prayer life and Bible reading, and learn much from my Bible Studies

Grade: C. Our church had a "spiritual checkup" for every interested individual last week. Since then my prayer time and bible reading have been regular (and WONDERFUL). But, unfortunately, before that it was pretty hit-or-miss. Cole is heading towards the 6-month mark and is sleeping well, so I don't have any excuses. This one is going to be TOP priority for the upcoming quarter.

Not so bad, but I see lots of room for improvement. And when I get there, I'll be totally perfect. Nah, just kidding. I'm already perfect.

Okay, just kidding again. It's April 1, is it not?

try as I may...

2007-04-01T03:39:00.000-07:00

I can't get Cole to smile for pictures. This is what he thinks of all my trying.

I updated my murals page. See here for my newest work.

Happy (Belated) Birthday, Audrey!

2007-03-29T18:02:00.000-07:00

My big girl is five! She was so into her birthday this year. Asking for weeks, "how many days until my birthday??" and in the week preceding, telling every single person she passed that her birthday was coming. When it came, Andy marvelled how, after opening her presents, one little person could uniformly scatter stuff over the ENTIRE surface area of our family room in a matter of seconds. She's so thoroughly messy! I guess she's consistent!

I told her that I was sad that I don't have a baby girl in the house anymore. She said, "that's okay, Mom, I will still be funny."

********

In other news, I have got to be queen of crazy gym injuries. And not the typical knee or ankle injuries one might expect at a gym. Oh no, not me. Two weeks ago I nicked my finger with my wedding ring and it was bleeding all over the place while I tried to run. Today I had to cut my workout short because, while running on the treadmill, I knocked my finger against the bar and it quickly turned into a giant purple nightmare. Thankfully, it's my pinky finger, so I will still be able to paint my mural Saturday, but aye aye aye, does it HURT.

2007-03-27T07:34:00.000-07:00

Shopping Spree

2007-03-26T13:54:00.000-07:00

I finally got a chance to do a little splurging! I still had a hard time with it. I have no problem over-spending at the grocery store, garage sales and restaurants, but when it comes to big-ticket items, I suddenly lose the ability to spend money. It's just so hard for me to see all those dollars disappear at once. It makes no sense, really. I mean, how do I justify spending $40 on a meal out when it's digested w/in 24 hours, but I can't bear to spend the same on a dress which I will wear for years?

At any rate, we got a good tax return this year, and Andy got his bonus, so we each got some money to play with. Andy promptly sped over to the music store and bought himself an electronic drum kit. I have my money allotted to several different things. So far I have purchased: A Kitchen Aid mixer, a new kitchen table and six chairs, a new ottoman (to replace the one I have which is so filthy I'm afraid it can never be clean again), a set of curtains, an entertainment center for our family room, five pairs of shoes, a cutting board, paints, and lots of new clothes. And, most likely, I will be going to Arizona with Ashton and Cole in two weeks!

I don't know which purchase I find the most thrilling. I love the idea of a kitchen table which actually seats the whole family and the meal we're eating all at once. I love that I can have an entertainment center and curtains in our family room and feel like a grown-up...right now we have a long row of furniture and a TV stand and I find it to look a little like a dorm room or a first apartment. I am tickled to pieces to soon own a kitchenAid (it's coming in the mail), because you all know of my current cooking kick. Shopping for clothes, while not exactly fun (unless you call "fun" trying on 30 outfits while Cole screams his lights out and two other kids are running around outside, threatening to open your curtain and very possibly someone else's too), was exhilirating because, while I haven't lost any weight in ages and ages, I must be re-distrubuting because I was happily surprised to find that things fit. I can't recall when I was last in style. Now I have pointy-toed shoes, chunky necklaces and those little sweaters that end just below your boob. Totally stylin'. :-)

To be sure, I did 90% of my shopping at second-hand stores. Can't take the cheap out of me that easily. Heck, the stuff I bought at regular stores was all from clearance racks.

So that was my shopping spree. Not bad for 3 days. And I'll end here so I can go vacuum and try to recover from all that sticker shock, and maybe even try to placate my restless baby.

Serves Me Right

2007-03-22T06:13:00.000-07:00

...Going to McDonalds right before I head to the gym for a workout!

I didn't go totally overboard (though I probably snuck a few too many fries from my kids' happy meal). I got a grilled chicken club and removed 90% of the mayonaisse, and a diet Coke. But it was the Diet Coke that got me into trouble. As I was trying to get through the door to the play area, tray in one hand and carseat in the other, my Coke fell off the tray and landed on my baby, icy cold liquid swiftly emptying all around his head and pooling into the bottom of the carseat. Poor guy. Thankfully he was wearing lots of layers and had a blanket with him (that didn't get wet) so I was able to strip him down to a (coke-stained) onesie and his blanket, and go to the gym without returning home for a new outfit.

I have a new little personal fitness goal. I ran 3 miles in 36 minutes the other day (down from 38 minutes a few weeks ago). My goal is to complete 3 miles in 33 minutes by May 1 and 30 minutes by June 1. Think I can do it? I hope so! Now, if I could only stop eating myself out of house and home I'd be well on my way into tank tops and bathing suits in public.

*******************

So Cole is 5 months now. And OH, how I enjoy this age so much more. He's smiling at me and talking to me all the time, and he's understanding cause-and-effect more, so he sees that if he makes his mouth into a little circle and hoots like an owl, Mommy might just mimic him and what a fun game that is! Must repeat over and over! He's very tactile and is always rubbing my arm or holding my hand or trying to put any available Mommy appendage into his mouth. He's still super-intense, though. He's not overly generous with smiles (especially not for the camera) but he'll study you until you're sure he's poked a hole though you with his laser-beam stare. I love that all my kids have such distinct personalities, and I can't wait to see how it all pans out as they grow.

Ashton has been slightly less pleasant than usual these days. He seems intent on stealing Cole's binky about ten thousand times a day and when he doesn't get his way, he's perfected his tantrum-throwing skills and the art of saying "No" with a dramatic toddler flair, melting into a pool at my feet. I don't give in (most of the time) but oh, brother. I get a lot of Mommy-guilt about this, because I do know and understand that Ashton is simply having a very hard time finding his place in the family. He tries to keep up with the older kids (lately he's been a little parrot, copying EVERYTHING they say and do), and he tries to stay a baby. I feel terrible because he really needs some special time, and nobody ever has a chance to give it to him. On Wednesdays, when I'm at Bible Study and the older kids are at AWANA, Andy takes Ashton to McD's to play, and I know he loves that, but I can tell he needs more.

Hopefully I can afford to fly him (and Cole and me) to Arizona soon.

*******************

So, this summer, in true Sally style, I've planned to vacation for several days with complete strangers. It's a family from the internet and I'm actually being commissioned to do a couple of murals for them. But since they live across the state, we're going to take the family and stay in their camper in their yard, and they will keep us entertained and show us the sights and sounds of their town while we're there. Afterwards, we'll take the ferry from there to Wisconsin, and go visit my sister in Madison. I think it sounds great (and CHEAP!) and my family just does NOT vacation enough.

Well, I suppose I've rambled on enough for today. Don't be shy - if any of you ever have a comment, feel free to post!

Pictures

2007-03-18T06:12:00.000-07:00

I'm Pooped

2007-03-17T08:03:00.000-07:00

I'm just soooooo tired. For a good reason. I had a very productive (and slightly profitable) couple of weeks and finished almost everything on my to-do list, including keeping up with laundry (one load a day) and committing to doing the dishes at night instead of leaving them in a huge mountain in the sink for the morning. (this is great because I DO not like not being able to fit my coffee carafe in the sink because of all the dishes) I painted and shipped all those letters and sold quite a bit of artwork at the Mom 2 Mom sale, and I scheduled a mural for the end of this month. I worked out every day this week, which I have to do to offset the insane amount of eating my nursing body seems to require. I've baked for bible studies, cleaned out the basment, started sorting stuff to sell at my summer garage sales. Now it's Saturday, I'm feeling blah, and I'm looking forward to getting my impending workout over with so that I can spend an hour in the bathtub with Cole and read my Cooking Light magazine.

This morning I ordered eBay for Dummies (the starting an eBay business one), because I would really like to jump on the letter-painting bandwagon. I'd like to branch out to other items, but letters would be a good start. And if anyone wants to give me advice on the best way to go about making a website (creating websites for dummies?), I'd like one of them too. But I stink at that computer stuff. And I don't have any money to pay someone else to do it...or I would. Believe me.

Okay, well, time to go face the dumbbells and suffer through a strength training class. And break up the brawl that just occurred between daughter and son.

Can't be Upstaged

2007-03-14T10:19:00.000-07:00

So I'm sharing some of my own artwork - what I've been doing for extra cash these days.

Per Audrey's Request

2007-03-14T07:37:00.000-07:00

More artwork.

A girl and her all-weather snowman (special purple snow is impervious to the warm weather)

Spongebob and Patrick catching jellyfish

This one features Audrey and Wesley (who looks awfully surprised) at her birthday party.

Audrey's Artwork

2007-03-09T05:12:00.000-08:00

This is a girl holding an umbrella in the rain. I asked Audrey if she was sad because it was rainy. She said, "no, she's sad because she couldn't get her hair right today."

This is our family. I'm holding Cole, see?

Predictablity Would Be So Nice...

2007-03-03T09:23:00.000-08:00

Forget crawling, rolling over, sitting up, clapping, pincer grasp. Those are great and everything, but the real milestone I'd like Cole to reach is the ability to post an agenda each day to let me know if Driving Momma Nuts is on the schedule or not. It would be so nice if I could wake up in the morning, check the chart, and see that Cole plans on taking a nap strike and nursing for 2 hours straight, fussing every time I put him down for more than 2 minutes. I could plan my day accordingly, and make sure to get my chores done quickly and early so I can spend my time nursing and watching TV (Food Network of course) in the afternoon. At night, I could check and see that Cole was planning on sleeping 11 hours straight. Then I could stay up a little longer, talk to my husband (*GASP*), watch a later TV program, do my Bible Study. If the agenda revealed that this would be a "cry and nurse every hour all night long" night, then I would go to bed early and say lots of preemptive prayers for sanity and energy.

Cole is such a sweetheart. He is an active little fella, and he chuckles all the time and craves attention and pays attention to everything. But he is SOOOO indecisive. He simply cannot decide if he wants to sleep 8-11 hours straight or wake up screaming every hour. He can't decide if he wants to be content in his bouncy seat and smile or suddenly get incredibly unhappy and cry the very millisecond he's put down. I keep saying that Cole has just gotten his birth order all wrong. If he had been my first child, he would have gotten all that luv and attention that he demands. As the fourth, he's often left to sit in the bouncy or swing and let one of his siblings entertain him while mom runs around like a crazed idiot. And, as the fourth child, he has very, very, very strong opinions on why this arrangement does not suit him in the least.

But he's SOOO stinking cute.

Random Stuff

2007-02-26T17:35:00.000-08:00

I overheard Audrey and Wesley bickering over a toy today. Audrey said, "Wesley, I have two words for you: Mine and Mine."

Andy was making funny sound effects and being goofy for Ashton the other day. After a few moments, Ashton interrupts and says, "Daddy, are you okay?"

I was driving home from a short exursion the other day, during which time I had left all the kids at home with Dad. Dad calls, and says, "I have someone here who would like to talk to you!" And next thing I know, I'm listening to Cole shrieking into the receiver. Our first phone call. So sweet. :-/

I was watching SuperNanny last week with Audrey. As we watched, I said, "Maybe we should have Supernanny at our house!" And Audrey agreed. She said, "Yes, let's have Supernanny come to our house! I would be good for her!"

*******************

So things are going well. I'm getting busier these days. I'm still not doing murals right now (no way no how since Cole doesn't like bottles) but I'm getting some commissioned projects here and there. I have cleaning and cooking and grocery shopping and all the normal stuff, I've been going to the gym constantly, and this past weekend I helped a friend with her moving sale. She's moving to Colorado and it was nice to have so much time to hang out before I said my goodbyes. We didn't hang out a lot but she is an incredible person and will be missed by many, many.

I do admit to being a tad bit greedy though! She has excellent taste and I bought my share of clothing, grocery items, jewelry, and other assorted goodies. Ah...garage sale season is coming soon! WOO HOOOOOOOOOOO! I'm such a garage-sale geek. I just love coming home with a car full of inexpensive loot, even if I just end up selling it all at my own garage sale a year later. My sister is always wondering what I do with all the stuff I lug home, but it's simple. It's like a revolving door. Stuff in, stuff out. I guess I like the variety. Today I hung up all the new clothes I bought from my friend and un-hung just as many things and packed them to sell at my sale this summer.

Maybe next time I write I'll update you on how I'm doing with my New Year's Resolutions (remember those?)

Prayers

2007-02-23T11:59:00.000-08:00

Sometimes I think I pray and pray and that God just doesn't hear me, or doesn't care, or just plain does what He wants regardless of how I pray. Sometimes I wonder if it's all a futile exercise that's supposed to do more "good" for me, as a means of gaining discipline. Sometimes I get mad.

But what I've been thinking lately is that I simply don't NOTICE all the bazillions of times that God has answered my prayers. It's just that the times that my prayers aren't answered "my" way are the ones that I notice. How many prayers has God answered, a million times over, that might have just taken longer to unfold, and I wasn't paying any attention?

It occurred to me the other day that I prayed for my son when he was little, that whatever was happening with him wasn't something lasting. I mean, he was a screamer. A LOUD screamer. Out of control. Inconsolable. Irritable. Miserable. This continued for 2 years. Then, he was late to develop verbal skills. He never played "pretend." He had all sorts of strange behaviors, like carrying around bouquets of pencils and pens in both hands, always having to have his hands full. He lined up cars in long, long lines and constantly corrected us when we mismatched colors on his toys. At two years old, he went berserk on several occasions, screaming and thrashing and appearing possessed, all because he was scared of balloons floating away. Now he's six and seems quite normal (if a little like a hall monitor/boy scout sort :-)). When I pondered this the other day, I thought, maybe he didn't just "grow out of it." Maybe he was healed. Maybe God was answering my prayers and I just didn't have my heart and mind opened to acknowledge it.

There are so many other things, things which we could call "slow miracles," that happen all the time. Whenever I start resenting my circumstances or getting the wrong answer to my prayers (so I think), I need to start praying and asking God to make me aware of all those prayers he's been answering all along. Sometimes they just take longer. Which makes them even better.

crazy

2007-02-12T04:54:00.000-08:00

Our church sends around clipboards during service, a way to monitor attendance, etc. They have been encouraging people to write down prayer requests, so they can pray for us on Wednesdays and Fridays. While I got up for a minute, dh wrote this "pray that Cole will sleep through the night, because he's driving us crazy." lol. Okay, not quite. What he really meant was, Cole was sick last week and not sleeping well and driving ME crazy, which had the inevitable effect of driving my husband crazy, since I'm not usually quiet about such matters as my husband sleeping peacefully as I am ready to shoot myself while walking a screaming baby around at 4 a.m.

But, really, I'm not exactly "crazy." Cole had been sleeping really well for a few weeks, and this cold kind of de-railed him for a few days. One night was particularly bad and I guess that's the one that's "driving us crazy." He was also rather cranky all week, as one should expect when a baby is under the weather and can't take anything. Still, he's gotten much better and last night he slept 10 hours without a peep, so we're good to go. Maybe God answered the prayers before they were prayed. That would be excellent. At any rate, maybe the prayer group will get a good laugh on Wednesday.

Because Cole and Ashton had colds last week, and the weather was ridiculously cold, we didn't venture out much. I didn't get to go to the gym, which really stunk. I'm hoping against hope for a healthy week here so I can go work out. I need this.

pictures

2007-02-10T11:08:00.000-08:00

Oh, Not Good. Not Good at All.

2007-02-03T18:43:00.000-08:00

This is going to make me more inefficient than ever. Like I need another reason to surf the internet all day....

All This For a Workout

2007-02-02T12:36:00.000-08:00

So, I finally went back to the gym after months and months. My membership was supposed to be frozen until Feb. 1, but since it's a couple's membership and my husband got his frozen until March 1, I came to the gym today to find that I had to get re-activated. I had an "appointment" for my baby in childcare for 1 pm but it was taking a while to get us re-activated, so I called the childcare room to delay our arrival. Finally, I got all paid up and got a new card (which was lost with my wallet way back in November) and made my way (3 kids in tow) to the childcare center. Only to find that I had to get an add/drop form from the front desk (where I just was) to sign up Cole. So I deposited Ashton and Audrey in the childcare and trooped back to the desk to get him officially signed in (my pre-workout workout). Then I finally got him to the childcare room, and asked if I could nurse him first. While I was sitting there I was told that Ashton was poopy, so after nursing I had to get my bag and change him. THEN ( a good 40 minutes after arriving) I got to work out. And thankfully it was a good workout. Because afterwards I couldn't take a shower because there were men in the women's locker room fixing the sink. So much for my delusions about an invigorating workout complete with shower and steam room.

The scale there DID say I was one pound less than my home scale registered. So I'd say that was the highlight of that excursion.

Pictures

2007-01-30T06:21:00.000-08:00

Haven't Been Posting Much

2007-01-29T16:46:00.000-08:00

Because I don't know what to say. How much do people really want to know about every detail about a day in the life of a broke housewife? It's the end of the month, so I'm just trying to scrape out the innards of my pantry and refrigerator before I can venture out on Wednesday to go grocery shopping....which is, in fact, my favorite kind of shopping.

Here are things I could have written about:

1. I have had two items in my kitchen shatter into a bazillion infinitesimal pieces in the last week. One was Corelle, which I didn't think breaks, but apparently, it does and when it does it's not just one crack down the middle. OH no. The other was my glass cutting board (I didn't know it was glass!). It took me all day to figure out what it was that broke, since the incident happened after I was trying to sweep behind the fridge and my crock pot fell off and landed on the floor along with all the glass. I had NO idea what the glass was from until I noticed, later today, that my cutting board has disappeared.

2. My kids are the messiest kids on the planet. Please tell me why Audrey finds it necessary to take a large deck of UNO cards and toss them into the air with abandon. I was still finding cards behind stuff and under things for 3 days. Needless to say, I can add that to the list of things being withheld from my kids for the time being. We had friends over the other week and my kids (and theirs) took out a bunch of [washable, thank goodness] black paint and soaked through their paper and decorated my basement carpet. They also managed to decorate my poor friend's daughter. Punishing my daughter by putting her in her room, even when I remove every last toy, would not prevent messes, because I would inevitably walk in to find a landslide of clothes tumbling out of her closet and uniformly blanketing the bedroom. It's not unusual for my kids to be seen in public with all sorts of gunk plastered on their faces and stuck in their hair. Yes, I do have some control over their appearance, but remember, I have 4 kids 6 and under, and not quite enough energy.

3. I actually inventoried every last grocery item in our household. And I've been keeping up with it. This is easy to do when it's the end of the month and, as I've said, we're scrounging until paycheck day. Now, you might refer to #2 and think, if she has time to inventory her pantry and fridge, does she not have time to brush her poor child's HAIR? Well, yes, but I can type and nurse/cuddle/entertain a baby quite easily, while I find it rather difficult to pin down Audrey and attempt to brush a moving (screaming) target and simultaneously nurse a baby. Anyway, in addition to making an inventory, I've been updating an ongoing grocery list (I take my grocery shopping WAY too seriously) and I've made my February meal plan. All this basically points to a sick obsession with food, an obsession that only escalates with fury when I am nursing. I daydream about food. I watch Food Network. I scour the internet looking for dessert recipes that I can make with the ingredients I have on hand. In fact, I just finished a slice of brownie pie.

Well, I'd better stop here. Baby is screaming and my kids, way past their bedtime and on a brownie-pie-high, are bouncing off the walls. Catch ya'll later.

Don't need to say much about this ;-)

2007-01-22T06:21:00.000-08:00

What My Kids Aren't Doing For a Week

2007-01-14T05:14:00.000-08:00

1. They aren't eating dessert, because when they asked for a bag of popcorn and I said yes, they proceeded to microwave four bags of popcorn while I was upstairs with Cole and then spent two hours at the dinner table later on, full and not wanting to eat.

2. They aren't having chips, since while I was upstairs with Cole another time (we're upstairs a lot, I guess), Wesley got on top of the refrigerator and pulled out the chips, and I found a huge stash of Lays and Doritos and Cheetohs in a pile in the basement.

3. They aren't watching TV, since yesterday Wesley poured an entire bucket of water on the TV while it was on, because he wanted to make it "nice and shiny." I'm thankful he's still alive and have since given him a stern briefing on the dangers of putting water on anything that's plugged in.

Ugh. If I didn't love them so much I'd sell them to the gypsies.

Conversations with my Daugher and Other Stuff

2007-01-13T03:59:00.000-08:00

Me: (rubbing Cole's almost bald head) I hope that Cole has blond curly hair, just like yours!
Audrey: You want Cole to be just like me?
Me: Yes!
Audrey: But..I make messes all the time and I like to play with girl toys!

Well, true....

Things around this household are becoming much more predictable and pleasant. I'm cooking, all the time, and entertaining, just like I wanted for the New Year. Cole is smiling and cooing and generally a lot more fun. He started sleeping 7 hours at a stretch this week, up until last night, that is. Just as I was getting good and used to sleep, he woke up at LEAST 12 times last night, until I was sure I left a groove in the carpet from walking up and down the hallway all night long. Of course, hubby didn't wake up at all, except the one time I tapped him awake and begged him to go stick that darned binky back in Cole's mouth so I could eliminate one trip.

His new "milestone" has been to bring his hands together in front of him and attempt to suck his fingers, but he can't figure out how to un-clench his fist in order to do it. So he gets mad and wakes up repeatedly looking for something to suck. So...it looks like I'll be employing my swaddling blanket again for the time being. That fist is just too darn distracting and he keeps knocking out the pacifier. Ugh...two steps forward, ten thousand steps back. One of these days (perhaps when all the kids have left the nest and gone to college) I'll get some sleep again.

I have some creative projects in the works. I'm in the middle of a canvas mural for our church nursery, and I've got two commissioned projects coming up, as well as some "doodles" for my sister, which she will use for digi-scrapping. See here for examples of what is popular in the world of digi scrapping these days. It's good to do a little bit of artwork again after a long hiatus. It's also nice to be able to contribute to the family in any small way I can (financially).

Not much else going on around here. Working on my resolutions with mixed success. The diet and bible-reading resolutions definitely need some work.

6 Weird Things About Me

2007-01-11T05:20:00.000-08:00

If you have been "tagged" on your blog, and you're reading this post, this is how it goes. I was "tagged" and am now supposed to write 6 weird things about myself. In turn, I am to "tag" 6 other bloggers and they do the same. I don't know six other bloggers (I think I know 4), so if you've been tagged, try this!

1. I am an awful finicky eater. I hate beans. All beans, except green beans. I also hate soft white cheeses, sour cream, most cooked green veggies, avocado, sweet potatoes, squash, nuts IN things, beets, olives, and countless other things. But I grew up eating (and loving) peanut butter and bacon sandwiches. Go figure.

2. I am an NFP geek. This is not so weird to some, but to many of my evangelical buddies, it is rather strange that I enjoy talking about mucus in everyday conversation. But I love the whole charting process and am a very enthusiastic proponent of this very natural way of acheiving/avoiding conception.

3. I am a morning person, through and through. It is not unusual for me to wake up refreshed at 5:30 a.m. and burn through my chores at lightning speed. With a new baby around, I don't do this so much, but once he's sleeping 12 hrs a night, I will likely resume my early, early routine.

4. I can watch Food Network for hours on end and I am never bored. Before this I could go for weeks without turning on the TV.

5. Like Megan (who tagged me) I enjoy childbirth, and I really, really looked forward to the event - pain and all. I just love the whole process and seeing my body do such amazing things, and of course, a baby emerging is a very sweet reward at the end.

6. I am an artist but I'm not creative. I can execute a project with no problem, but I can't think of ideas very easily. People are always saying, "you're creative, what would you do with such and such?" and I'm just blank. ;-)

So they aren't so weird. But my mind fails me here. Maybe other people (who are more creative, lol) could think of stranger stuff about me.

Showing Off

2007-01-01T13:54:00.000-08:00

Finally, some smiley pics!!!

Can a Breast Explode?

2007-01-01T04:43:00.000-08:00

That's what my left boob was wondering as Cole slept his first-ever 6 hour stretch last night. I think that "sleep" would have been much more enjoyable if my skin wasn't threatening to break with the weight of all that milk. So what was the magic? Was it keeping him up until after midnight? Or was it the threat of sleeping in his own room that made him want to shape up in fear of losing prime spot next to Mommy in bed? I don't know, but if my boobs would oblige I'm still going to evict him tonight. If I'm not too tired.

Today I get to take down Christmas! yes! I love having all the decorations up during the holidays, but I am so excited to put it all away now and reclaim my tiny family room. I think the house is going to look so BIG without all the extra decor. I like that I'm going to be busy today because it's the first day of my "diet" and I don't need idle time to send me to the refrigerator in search of chocolate.

My New Years Resolution(s)

2006-12-31T04:16:00.000-08:00

My New Years Resolution is to find BALANCE. I have so many ideas swimming in my head all the time, so many things I want to do and acheive and fix and well, you know, too many things. I can't expect to suddenly become perfect in 2007 (though it would be nice!), and I don't know what kind of obstacles I might face this year, but at least I can work on what I can work on.

1. Okay, this is on everyone's list, but I want to change my eating and exercising habits. I have an online support group and I want to start posting my daily food and exercise diaries on there again, as I have had great success in the past. Eating healthy foods and exercising is not only helpful for my figure, but it's a boost to my marriage. Last time we both "dieted," Andy and I had so much fun with our little weight-loss hobby, and we had more energy and felt better, and we saved so much money not eating out. That's on our "resolution" list, too. Not to eat out for the entire month of January.

2. I want to start cooking more and learning new recipes, with the help of Food Network, of course. ;-) My goal is to entertain and cook for other people at least once a month, ideally including people from my neighborhood or friends I don't see very often. Not just church friends who I see all the time.

3. I want to put Cole in his own bed. The family bed was working for us, for the most part, but lately he's been waking more often and I'm tired of going to bed at 8 or 9 just to get enough sleep. I miss my hubby. So if Ferber is the only way, then I'm trying it. Tomorrow.

4. I want to actually stay within my grocery budget. It never, ever, ever happens! But if I could get organized enough to stock up on staples and take advantage of sales, I might be able to come up with recipes that require things I already have. Taking 3 or 4 kids to the grocery store 3 times a week is just NOT working for me, lol.

5. I want to keep up with my current to-do list on my online housekeeping forum. I have been doing this with much success, and I'll be adding "read Bible" and "exercise" to those lists. Exercise might not start with gusto until Feb. 1, when my gym membership resumes.

6. I'd like to finish some house projects in 2007. The mural behind Audrey's bed, the boys' dresser, the basement safari mural. And I'd really like to find a way to make my artwork business profitable.

7. Speaking of that, I'd like to find a way to get all my artwork sold and get rid of lots of stuff so that our garage becomes available for other things, like cars.

8. I'd like to implement a lasting and effective schedule for my kids, using charts and time-outs, Super-Nanny style. This is a lofty goal for me, but it would be nice if I could get more consistent and credible in my discipline measures. I have lots of ideas for that, but I really have to DO it. I want to continue our family game times and meals together, because that is such a major boost to all of us and it really helps the kids' behavior.

9. I want to grow in my prayer life and Bible reading, and learn much from my Bible Studies, so that when my plans get de-railed, unexpected events sideswipe us, or everyday life makes me forget, I have a wonderful, powerful, merciful God to pick me up and brush me off, and in turn, help me reach out and comfort and encourage others.

So that's a lot of stuff. I think I have more, too, but I'll just stick with this list for now, as it is more than enough to keep me busy. All in all, it's just one resolution - to find Balance. To figure out how to arrange my priorities and get things done in a somewhat orderly manner, to the glory of God. Impossible? Maybe. But the bible says that nothing is impossible, so what the heck. So here's to long lists!

Reluctant Hostess Survives

2006-12-27T05:26:00.000-08:00

I'm here! I'm alive! My extended family has gone home, the presents are opened, and my house has been patched back together (except for the random piece of "Floam" embedded in my carpet). Even most of my Christmas money has been spent! ;-) We got through the holiday without any major confrontation or rude word (which, believe me, is unusual) and enjoyed the rare holiday at which all members of my family - all my siblings and their spouses/kids and my parents - were in attendance. It was chaos, to say the least, fitting 15 people into my little house, and we spent a great deal of time tripping over one another. But we also laughed, played games, ate lots of food, and gave and received way too many gifts. I tried so hard to limit how much I got for my kids, but still they ended up with a boatload of new stuff. Of course, many of the pieces to their games and toys were already missing by the a.m. of December 26!

We have a new rule in this house that all games, especially card games, are to be played with the family and only with parental supervision. Last night, Andy and I played Uno with the two older kids while Cole and Ashton looked on, and it was FUN! No TV, no yelling and screaming, just a fun game by the fire. We really need to do more of that. Family time. Time to just sit and enjoy eachother and engage one another in actual conversation. Dinner is often at the table, but then the kids are usually bored because Andy and I, who barely get to see eachother these days, are trying to catch up on the other's day and want to have adult conversation. So this after-dinner game time gives everyone a chance to be equally engaged...and it provides an opportunity to actually keep all pieces to games intact for more than 24 hours.

Outing Themselves

2006-12-22T14:23:00.000-08:00

My kids think they are so smart. They try to get away with stuff while I'm busy with Cole. They like to break things and they like to steal my camera. REAL smart that they take PICTURES of their secret escapades!

Fun With the Kids

2006-12-20T15:07:00.000-08:00

PLUS

EQUALS

It's not a whole lot of fun to clean, but a great holiday project for the kids and very fun to eat.

Just for You, Janet!

2006-12-19T13:44:00.000-08:00

Just Pictures today

2006-12-18T04:55:00.000-08:00

Snow Angels

2006-12-15T15:03:00.000-08:00

No, we're not making any. It's actually pretty warm outside and there isn't any snow. But I got my new Over the Rhine CD (http://www.overtherhine.com/) with that name. It's the sign of a true fan that I instantly loved (and sang along with) every song. It's a perfect Christmas CD and I felt so calm holding Cole in my arms and dancing around my living room to the music in the dark and Christmas lights.

Today, especially this morning, was hard. I was so tired after a night of fighting a raging headache and a baby who wouldn't stay asleep longer than an hour at a time, I felt I could barely stand up at my MOPS meeting. It's hard not to compare my baby with everyone else's, or wonder how I'm praying the wrong way when I feel like life with a new baby (and three other rambunctious young'ns!) is just one test after another. Most days, I feel pretty good and life doesn't get me down. I mean, my kids are a gift and a delight even when they test me, and Cole is sweet and his smile is precious. But I get discouraged when I diligently follow the "routine" all day and Cole is worse that night. Or when I get so sidetracked with Christmas preparations and housecleaning and coralling kiddos that the routine is smashed to smithereens and I'm back at square one. I know the Truth about God's love, but sometimes it takes a little smack in the head to remind me that I'm not the sole person God forgot to love or something. Sometimes I am blind to the blessings that flow so abundantly in this life of mine.

So I will continue to pray and hope and I know that I'll inevitably end up missing these times, as crazy as that seems to this sleep-deprived lady!

Ashton is having a hard time figuring out how he fits in this family. He has taken to stealing pacifiers, most often right out of Cole's mouth. Often he'll put it right in his mouth, but lately, he's wanted to assure that if I won't let him have it, Cole doesn't get it either, so he rips it from baby and throws it. He's definitely acting up in every way, and I can only imagine, judging from how active Cole already is, that in about two years or so, I"ll be dealing with the numerous antics of two partners in crime. Oh well, I can hope that by then, my other two kids will have mellowed some. I can hope, right?

Is My Kitchen Too Small?

2006-12-12T14:55:00.000-08:00

Apparently it is for Audrey. I told her to pick up her crayons and paper, which were (of course) spread out all over our breakfast room area, and she said, "Well, it's not MY fault our kitchen is the size of R2D2!"

Back to the Grind

2006-12-11T04:52:00.000-08:00

Actually, I look forward to Mondays. Everyone (including myself) seems to freak out around here when the weekday routine is disrupted. I like having my husband around, don't get me wrong, but everything is so DIFFERENT during the weekend and my kids are bouncing off the walls and my baby doesn't know what to do with himself. I also get extremely lazy on the weekends, and don't feel like accompishing anything, whereas during the week I like to be productive.

It was a good weekend, though. We had our church Christmas party on Friday, which was pretty fun (and good food!) but I had to leave early...not because of Cole but because of Ashton, who was running my sitter-friend ragged. Where IS my sweet perfect little boy these days? Anyway, Saturday was spent working on a mural with my friend Carolyn. We're doing a pond scene for the nursery at church. We discovered (to my delight) that Cole sleeps WONDERFULLY on his tummy, and while that's a no-no these days (with SIDS awareness), I am SO happy to put him down IN HIS ROOM and IN HIS BASSINET for a good nap and actually have him sleep. No swing or swaddling necessary. I've been doing it at night (gasp, I know...don't worry, I check on him incessantly) and he's been doing better. For two nights he's slept for two longer stretches in a row, which is glorious. After 4 it's still touch-and-go because he's so congested. MUST.BUY.VAPORIZER.

Okay, so on Saturday p.m. I had a friend over and she worked on an afghan and I baked cookies using my late MIL's recipe. I was so happy to get it right because the holidays already don't seem the same without her, and having these cookies around is like having a little part of her. And I like that. In other news, I finished the last bit of my Christmas shopping and cleaned out my pantry and steam-cleaned my carpet this weekend. So I still have some other household projects to finish and some baking, but I'm done with the big stuff. Whew.

And yesterday I was very lazy. Which felt fantastic. I guess Sunday is an appropriate day to take it easy, no?

It's fuzzy, but

2006-12-07T09:03:00.000-08:00

I had to post my first photo of Cole smiling!

Every Day is Different!

2006-12-05T13:13:00.000-08:00

I know my posts could give someone whiplash. One day I'm optimistic and joyful, the next I'm falling apart. Guess "chaos and joy" is about right.

Today I'm doing so well! Not that Cole is suddenly the World's Easiest Baby and sleeps through the night or anything, but my hormones seem to be leveling off and I basically just *feel* better about the whole thing. I'm starting to enjoy parenting - even babies - again, and I am generally happier as a rule these days. I just hate that bleak feeling of "it's never going to be better EVER" that seems to strike me in my postpartum state, no matter what the baby is like.

Actually I think Cole is like Ashton, and if so, then I'm extremely lucky because Ashton was a dream after the first few months. Cole doesn't seem temperamentally difficult. He seems uncomfortable. I've been doing a little googling and am beginning to suspect reflux, which would explain the constant night wakings, the congestion every morning, the frequent spit-ups and hiccups and choking sounds, the fact that all this discomfort is much worse when he's lying flat on his back. So, at risk of getting him dependent, he'll be sleeping in the swing for the forseeable future. He slept in it last night and I got two 3-hr stretches out of him, which believe it or not, is great for him and perfectly sufficient for me at this point. The good news is, one can grow out of reflux, and it's entirely possible that I'll have an angel baby in a few months. Even if I don't, I thank God for him and it's amazing how I can have so much love and devotion to this little guy already.

In other news, my 3 older kids managed to break their previous record for Most Things Broken in one week. Argh.

Rethinking

2006-12-03T05:12:00.000-08:00

Well, yesterday was tough. Cole was extremely unhappy yesterday and spitting up a lot, and gassy. I am going to watch to see if it might be a food intolerance (I'm hoping against hope it's not a dairy thing!!). I was sitting with him in bed last night, when he was finally sleeping, and just decided that I can't change who he is, and I have to let go of all my preconceived notions of how a baby is "supposed" to sleep and behave. I have to let him be who he is and quit comparing him (or my others) to other babies. I have to quit having expectations each night of how many hours he's supposed to sleep or how many times he "should" wake up, and just rely on God's strength to help me muddle through all this unpredictability.

I see a lot of lessons that can be learned through these newborn months. How to take a leap of faith and let the Spirit of God work his fruits in me - especially patience and gentleness. I am so impatient, and lose my cool very quickly with him and the other kids when things get particularly chaotic (as they were all day yesterday). I have to slow down and stop trying to DO so many things. I am an energetic and "busy" person and hate to be tied down to a couch nursing or forced to stop what I'm doing to attend to a cranky little person, but I know that slowing down would be so good for my baby, and for my soul. A chance for a few deep breaths and a prayer, a reboot for my temper. A chance to stop being so competitive with all those well-rested parents out there with good sleeping babies, and to remember that this stage is temporary and amnesia is a wonderful thing (otherwise, why would I have had so many babies? lol). Cole is a treasure and a gift from God, and it's about time I start concentrating on the blessings I've received.

As much as I long for God's mercy, I know that the fruits of Patience and Gentleness and Self-Control are vital in my walk with God, so I'd better tune in to what I'm supposed to be learning here!

Sleep, Where Art Thou?

2006-12-02T05:07:00.000-08:00

As a continuation of my ongoing saga of Elusive Sleep, I'm becoming increasingly frustrated with Cole's nighttime habits. Lately, during the day, he's been a real angel. Smiling more often every day, even cooing (when he's in his favorite place - the bath! He's truly his mother's son). He sticks to the "schedule" well all day long. I made the cycle of E.A.S.Y shorter so that his nap times aren't longer than two hours at most, and he's adjusted perfectly. But nights aren't getting better - they're getting worse. I had been counting on my 3-4 hour stretch (between 8 or 9 and midnight) and he's suddenly become a night owl, and I don't even have that! Luckily, dh stayed up with him last night so I could get my needed 3 hours, but after he brought him up at midnight, Cole was back to his usual up-every-hour routine. And I'm not kidding when I say that NOTHING works to keep him happy except constant nursing. I'm not exactly walking the halls (he's not screaming) but ignoring his grunts doesn't help because they *will* escalate to cries if I don't attend to him. Swaddling only goes so far. Last night he was swaddled tightly and in the bassinet, but after an hour he had peed through all of that, and I had to change him and wrap him in another blanket. And no matter how much circulation I cut off wrapping him tightly, the little Houdini has no problem getting his arms out of that.

I'm seriously at a loss here. I have tried everything the books and my friends have suggested, and I can not get this kid to stay asleep. I'm lucky that he naps regularly throughout the day, but ack, I spend every day worrying about how he'll sleep at night. I am not greedy. I wouldn't mind waking up every 3 hours to feed him. I don't have to sleep straight through. But every hour is ridiculous. I find myself counting down to that magical 3-month mark when I feel comfortable letting him CIO. I don't have any moral problem with CIO but I feel that 6 weeks is too young.

I feel like a broken record with my friends. Every prayer request is for Cole's sleep, and I sometimes feel discouraged, and start questioning why I pray for specific things if they just plain aren't going to happen. I'm getting stretched and am learning all about patience and reliance on God's strength and energy, and He hasn't let me down, but I do sort of feel like I'm on Mute when I pray for things to get better with his sleep.

This whole stage is short-lived, and I know that soon it will be a distant memory, probably so much so that I'll actually yearn for another baby (which isn't going to happen, barring any miracles, by the way). But right now I'm in the moment, and the "moment" isn't a whole lot of fun.

Luckily, I'm getting to know this little man more every day, and figuring out his personality and every day he becomes more fun to parent. Of course, right this very minute he's screaming his tooshie off, so I guess I'm done venting.

I must really be special!

2006-12-01T10:12:00.000-08:00

My daughter tells me that she loves me more than ANY rock star.

picture

2006-11-29T10:40:00.000-08:00

Thank You, God!!!

2006-11-29T06:31:00.000-08:00

I lost my wallet on Thanksgiving. After eliminating all other possibilities, I concluded that I must have left it in a convenience store on my way to my FIL's house. So we cancelled our credit cards, got a new driver's liscense, etc. Lo and behold, I got a call this morning from a post office in Lansing, and she has my wallet! Yippee! We had a check in there from my grandmother, and I had my library card, Costco card, fitness club card, and a phone card and who knows what else. Now I just pray that it's all still there!! I get my wallet in the mail in the next few days.

Never had THAT happen before!

2006-11-28T13:26:00.000-08:00

Well, I made it to baby #4 before this happened.

I was sitting with my baby today, and was enjoying his company and his little grin, so I decided to place a kiss on his cute little mouth. He responded by depositing a generous dollop of spit-up directly in my mouth. :-)

On an unrelated note, I saw a little bit of pay-off for my days with Wesley as a very colicky high-needs baby. I was sitting across the yard from him yesterday as he was playing with a friend. He accidentally hit the friend in the head with a toy and the friend started to cry. Wesley stopped immediately, patted and comforted him, and gave him a huge hug. Enough to make a person swell with pride, I tell ya. My sensitive little boy will make a great husband someday.

The Ongoing Scheduling Saga

2006-11-25T04:26:00.000-08:00

My plans for this Whispering thing are getting seriously de-railed as Cole can't seem to kick this congestion. Ugh. He's up (and FUSSY) every hour again. I'm keeping him in bed with me as long as it's like this, because I get much better sleep when I'm not watching the clock and can just give him his "snacks" when he wakes up so frequently. It really was getting better before his sniffly nose made nursing so difficult. Yesterday was truly awful. He was fussing for most of it, which isn't exactly normal for him. Thanksgiving Day he was an angel, but then again, I held him for almost all of it (at my FIL's house). I just pray that the cold gets better soon, because he is miserable and it makes me sad. Even in the midst of all this, Andy and I have both seen the first little grins over these past couple of days, and I know I'll see more smiles when we're all a bit happier!

I did (barely) manage to put up the decorations yesterday, though we had several snafu's with the lights. It looks nice, though. I always love having the house decorated. Today I'm going to try to escape to the store with Cole and do the toy shopping for the kids. I've got a lot of other things on my to-do list but that's going to depend on how the day goes.

Just pictures

2006-11-24T05:48:00.000-08:00

We had Thanksgiving with my FIL. It was nice. I've had quite the share of difficulties in my relationship with him, but things are okay now. I'm even feeling a bit sad because he's not doing well. Andy and I don't know how long he'll be around. He was pretty run-down. :-( It was a bittersweet holiday, for sure. The absence of my MIL is a hard reality. I knew I'd miss her mostly during the holidays. She always made so much of them, lavishing the kids (and all of us, really) with gifts and food and attention, snapping rolls and rolls of pictures (remember film?). It just seemed wrong not to be with her yesterday.

Anyway, I just wanted to share a few pics of the kiddos.

I'm Sold!

2006-11-22T05:36:00.000-08:00

I'm officially calling myself a Baby Whisperer!

My friend Kristin lent me a copy of Tracy Hogg's Baby Whisperer, and I realized there was a book, and a method, I hadn't tried. I could never do Babywise, and didn't agree with Dr. Sears, and while I use a lot of the methods to calm a baby from The Happiest Baby on the Block, it didn't really answer my questions about how to organize the chaos going around in this house. I liked Hogg's approach because while she purports a regular routine of eating, awake time, sleeping and "you" time (E.A.S.Y.), it's really flexible and it doesn't involve "crying it out." The idea is if the baby cries, you pick him up and comfort him, but as soon as he is comforted, you put him back down again, and you avoid habits such as having to hold and/or nurse a baby to get him to sleep. It's about understanding your baby, and what his cries actually mean, and responding appropriately.

Well, I love it. I wasn't sure, at first, because after all this is baby #4 and I've never been able to implement any sort of schedule at all. But this one is flexible enough that I could actually do it, and I can't BELIEVE the difference! It's really truly possible for a Molhoek baby to go three hours between feedings! It's possible to have predictablity in my day. It's possible to leave him with a sitter without getting panicky and sweaty worrying that he'll cry the whole time. I didn't realize how much better it was until Cole and I got sick this week and the schedule was blown to bits. I was back to "demand" nursing and the household immediately went chaotic all over again.

(I can SO hear the rousing chorus of "I told you so's" ringing in my head)

Anyway, the next goal is to get him to sleep in the bassinet at night (which he actually did, for four hours, last night). It's going to require a lot of comforting and putting him back, but according to this book, it should take only 3 days for him to get out of the habit of sleeping with me. I will do this when we are both healthy again, and I'll keep you updated.

I'm hoping I feel better for Thanksgiving. No fun being sick and having a sick baby! Our only thing to do today is to go to Kohl's to buy matching sweaters for the boys. Picture time coming up!

The Holidays are Upon Us

2006-11-20T06:52:00.000-08:00

Wow, this is the first week that my to-do list contains a hefty portion of holiday-related projects. I can't believe it's that time already! I love all the baking and craft-making and shopping. Even if I don't buy anything at the mall, I just like going, and enjoying the hustle and bustle of it all, and the Christmas music and decorations and the smell of the cinnamon wafting out of the holiday kiosks. Anyone want to go to the mall with me? ;-) Of course, we won't be doing quite as much as usual, since we still have a little one around, but it's all very exciting anyway. And Cole loves blinky lights. I've already whipped out my "Darkest Night of the Year" CD by Over the Rhine (my favorite band). And on Friday I'm planning to decorate. No shopping on Black Friday this time!

I just have to report with glee that Cole pulled a five-hour sleeping stretch last night, his longest yet! I feel so rested! Earlier in the evening, I even got to go to my Women's Bible Study and Andy had all four kids for the first time. Everything went well and I'm totally relieved. Although sometimes I feel like a first-time mom all over again, and I have several setbacks and frustrations, I can say that we are settling into some sort of routine in the household and Cole is doing pretty well! He stared at me for so long this morning, I thought perhaps I might see his first "real" smile. I didn't, but I think it will be soon.

DUH

2006-11-16T09:24:00.000-08:00

Last night was much better. And you know what occurred to me this morning? That the night before I was up all p.m. with Cole, I refilled my Coke glass at least four times at Wesley's birthday party. Well no WONDER. My poor little Cole was bombarded with Caffeine!!!

So What do you think he's thinking?

2006-11-16T09:17:00.000-08:00

Please don't kiss me!

Ack! It's a gigantic face! Help!

Is this my big sister? I hope she doesn't try to make me play dress-up with her in a few years...

....?

I'm TIRED! :-)

2006-11-14T07:03:00.000-08:00

Okay, so I love this little guy so, so, so, so much, and I admit that when I see his beady little eyes peering at me at 2:30 in the morning, it gives my heart a little leap. But then, soon after, I am sweating, because I know that for the next four hours, Mr. Grunt E. Grunterson will be living out his little ritual of grunting, fidgeting, fussing and generally just NOT sleeping. I don't know what makes him suddenly so uncomfortable in the middle of the night (well besides the obvious - he's on his back instead of upright) but we don't get much sleep. Usually the first stretch (8-12 or so) is relatively peaceful, so I take my sleep when I can get it. Last night I was really feeling the fatigue, though. He doesn't nurse well in the side-lying position, and I've been trying to make his feedings more qualitative, so I have to sit up in bed to do this. Every hour. I am feeling it today!!

I am, however, having some success with daytime scheduling. I'm having to let him cry for a few minutes sometimes, just because I have to keep this house from falling apart somehow! But I think he's "getting it." He takes in more at a feeding and has been taking nice, long naps, in his SWING even!! Yahoo!

Tonight is Wesley's belated birthday party! I found a cute idea for party favors on Food Network (of all places :-)) and I have to go to the grocery store soon and get the stuff. It's going to be pretty informal (just pizza and games at Caesarland, like a Chuck E Cheeses), but Wesley has been counting down with great anticipation. I hope we all survive! ;-)