saturday

It's been a few days! I have been dealing with panic attacks concerning the health of this baby. Even though my latest u/s (on Thursday) was completely fine, according to the tech, I worked myself up into quite a frenzy obsessing over the pictures. I've recovered somewhat, but I don't think I will be completely at ease until this baby is in my arms. Oh, heck, who am I kidding. I won't be completely at ease after that either.

I think my problem is too much down time. We've had freezing weather and SNOW (*gasp*) in the last couple of days, and I've been cocooning in the house, which isn't always good for my mental health, when cocooning includes two children, aged 2 and 4, who enjoy making messes and complaining about their endless boredom. Audrey is apparently going through some sort of growth spurt because she is eating like a horse lately. She'll ask for (and eat) breakfast and - I'm not kidding you - she's ready for more food 20 minutes later. Yesterday she had a large lunch at 10 a.m. Well, I guess it's good. I kind of remember that Wesley was eating this way during the same time frame, so I guess its' normal. Just tiring for me, the nice mom who ends up screaming, "ASK ME ONE MORE TIME FOR FOOD AND YOU WON'T EAT ANYTHING AT ALL!!!"

Countown to baby: (if he doesn't make other plans) four! Four more days to be pregnant, four more days until the childbearing portion of my life is over. I suppose it's not impossible to imagine that I *could* end up pregnant again (we use NFP and won't be pursuing sterilization), but it's unlikely. At first I was unhappy with this set-up. It was my husband's idea to be done. But after my last two days of hysteria over this baby's health, I'm not sure I'm ready to roll the dice again. Talk to me again when I'm not riddled with hormones, and my story could be very different, of course.