Every Day is Different!

I know my posts could give someone whiplash. One day I'm optimistic and joyful, the next I'm falling apart. Guess "chaos and joy" is about right.

Today I'm doing so well! Not that Cole is suddenly the World's Easiest Baby and sleeps through the night or anything, but my hormones seem to be leveling off and I basically just *feel* better about the whole thing. I'm starting to enjoy parenting - even babies - again, and I am generally happier as a rule these days. I just hate that bleak feeling of "it's never going to be better EVER" that seems to strike me in my postpartum state, no matter what the baby is like.

Actually I think Cole is like Ashton, and if so, then I'm extremely lucky because Ashton was a dream after the first few months. Cole doesn't seem temperamentally difficult. He seems uncomfortable. I've been doing a little googling and am beginning to suspect reflux, which would explain the constant night wakings, the congestion every morning, the frequent spit-ups and hiccups and choking sounds, the fact that all this discomfort is much worse when he's lying flat on his back. So, at risk of getting him dependent, he'll be sleeping in the swing for the forseeable future. He slept in it last night and I got two 3-hr stretches out of him, which believe it or not, is great for him and perfectly sufficient for me at this point. The good news is, one can grow out of reflux, and it's entirely possible that I'll have an angel baby in a few months. Even if I don't, I thank God for him and it's amazing how I can have so much love and devotion to this little guy already.

In other news, my 3 older kids managed to break their previous record for Most Things Broken in one week. Argh.