Hmmm...What to say....

Well, last night was nice. No Grunting Hour. I still co-slept and didn't keep to a schedule overnight, but I've been sticking (loosely) to one during the day. 'Tis going okay. Cole is now two weeks old, so the crying is a little more frequent, but he's not really so bad. He likes to be held, and Mommy is trying to learn a lesson about slowing down and enjoying God's blessings.

Last night I had my Bible Study on Proverbs 31, and the verse of the day was 31:13, about the woman spinning wool and flax with "eager hands." So I thought about my goals. What is the balance between taking intentional time to nurture a newborn and "working eagerly"-producing/accomplishing/working diligently? 2 weeks into 4 kids and I'm feeling a tad bit overwhelmed. I have a to-do list I keep on an online forum, and I have some manic need to do every.single.thing on it, whether or not the list is 5 pages long. I feel idle if I don't. But while I'm scurrying around like a mad person trying to Get It All Done, my baby cries out from the swing and tugs at my heartstrings, and I end up frustrated that I "have" to stop and hold him and comfort/nurse him when I'm looking around at all the boxes on my list left unchecked. I don't know what I'm trying to prove or to whom I'm trying to prove it. But I do so much want to work eagerly and diligently to the glory of God, like the Proverbs 31 woman, but not at the expense of my sanity or the example I'm setting for my children. "Hardworking" is a great quality, but I think about the fruits of the Spirit - love, joy, peace, patience, gentleness...Am I willing to surrender those qualities just so I can feel accomplished?

Somehow there's a balance, and I pray that God shows me how I can both serve and nurture my family, and hopefully emerge at the other end with at least a few hairs left on my head.