Ah, Joy

Last night I was holding my sleeping child in my arms, and I kept asking my husband, "are you SURE our other kids were this cute? Are you SURE??" Because I can't remember being so blissed out. He assured me repeatedly that yes, indeed, the others were just as cute, but it's just hard to believe. :-) I'm still in the first week here, so I know that's it's just adrenaline and euphoria, but there's something so incredibly magical about holding that teeny tiny little bundle of a creature against your skin and just drink in his preciousness. And to think I couldn't imagine loving him as much as my other kids. God must just laugh at us.

So I'm doing well. Still waiting for the "blues" to set in, but hoping against hope that maybe it won't be so bad this time. I just want to get out and about and not become isolated. That might be a challenge, however. The biggest hurdle we've faced in the last five days is the immense difficulty we have getting all four kids out of the house. It's cold outside, so in addition to all these people, we also have to factor in all the coats, socks, shoes, gloves, hats, etc, most of which are yanked off and then lost under something before we make it out the door. I'm finding myself losing patience with the older kids almost constantly. Which isn't fair to them. It's easy for me to adopt the martyr mentality and try to play SuperMom, and I just have to accept that the house is going to be a disaster, I won't be able to volunteer so much at church, I might have to prepare easier dinners (or let other people make them for me!) and I might have to accept that I'm flawed. *gasp* I need to be on my knees, going to my God for strength and peace, and admitting that without Him, I just won't get very far.