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Thank You, God!!!

I lost my wallet on Thanksgiving. After eliminating all other possibilities, I concluded that I must have left it in a convenience store on my way to my FIL's house. So we cancelled our credit cards, got a new driver's liscense, etc. Lo and behold, I got a call this morning from a post office in Lansing, and she has my wallet! Yippee! We had a check in there from my grandmother, and I had my library card, Costco card, fitness club card, and a phone card and who knows what else. Now I just pray that it's all still there!! I get my wallet in the mail in the next few days.

Never had THAT happen before!

Well, I made it to baby #4 before this happened.

I was sitting with my baby today, and was enjoying his company and his little grin, so I decided to place a kiss on his cute little mouth. He responded by depositing a generous dollop of spit-up directly in my mouth. :-)

On an unrelated note, I saw a little bit of pay-off for my days with Wesley as a very colicky high-needs baby. I was sitting across the yard from him yesterday as he was playing with a friend. He accidentally hit the friend in the head with a toy and the friend started to cry. Wesley stopped immediately, patted and comforted him, and gave him a huge hug. Enough to make a person swell with pride, I tell ya. My sensitive little boy will make a great husband someday.

The Ongoing Scheduling Saga

My plans for this Whispering thing are getting seriously de-railed as Cole can't seem to kick this congestion. Ugh. He's up (and FUSSY) every hour again. I'm keeping him in bed with me as long as it's like this, because I get much better sleep when I'm not watching the clock and can just give him his "snacks" when he wakes up so frequently. It really was getting better before his sniffly nose made nursing so difficult. Yesterday was truly awful. He was fussing for most of it, which isn't exactly normal for him. Thanksgiving Day he was an angel, but then again, I held him for almost all of it (at my FIL's house). I just pray that the cold gets better soon, because he is miserable and it makes me sad. Even in the midst of all this, Andy and I have both seen the first little grins over these past couple of days, and I know I'll see more smiles when we're all a bit happier!

I did (barely) manage to put up the decorations yesterday, though we had several snafu's with the lights. It looks nice, though. I always love having the house decorated. Today I'm going to try to escape to the store with Cole and do the toy shopping for the kids. I've got a lot of other things on my to-do list but that's going to depend on how the day goes.

Just pictures

We had Thanksgiving with my FIL. It was nice. I've had quite the share of difficulties in my relationship with him, but things are okay now. I'm even feeling a bit sad because he's not doing well. Andy and I don't know how long he'll be around. He was pretty run-down. :-( It was a bittersweet holiday, for sure. The absence of my MIL is a hard reality. I knew I'd miss her mostly during the holidays. She always made so much of them, lavishing the kids (and all of us, really) with gifts and food and attention, snapping rolls and rolls of pictures (remember film?). It just seemed wrong not to be with her yesterday.

Anyway, I just wanted to share a few pics of the kiddos.

I'm Sold!

I'm officially calling myself a Baby Whisperer!

My friend Kristin lent me a copy of Tracy Hogg's Baby Whisperer, and I realized there was a book, and a method, I hadn't tried. I could never do Babywise, and didn't agree with Dr. Sears, and while I use a lot of the methods to calm a baby from The Happiest Baby on the Block, it didn't really answer my questions about how to organize the chaos going around in this house. I liked Hogg's approach because while she purports a regular routine of eating, awake time, sleeping and "you" time (E.A.S.Y.), it's really flexible and it doesn't involve "crying it out." The idea is if the baby cries, you pick him up and comfort him, but as soon as he is comforted, you put him back down again, and you avoid habits such as having to hold and/or nurse a baby to get him to sleep. It's about understanding your baby, and what his cries actually mean, and responding appropriately.

Well, I love it. I wasn't sure, at first, because after all this is baby #4 and I've never been able to implement any sort of schedule at all. But this one is flexible enough that I could actually do it, and I can't BELIEVE the difference! It's really truly possible for a Molhoek baby to go three hours between feedings! It's possible to have predictablity in my day. It's possible to leave him with a sitter without getting panicky and sweaty worrying that he'll cry the whole time. I didn't realize how much better it was until Cole and I got sick this week and the schedule was blown to bits. I was back to "demand" nursing and the household immediately went chaotic all over again.

(I can SO hear the rousing chorus of "I told you so's" ringing in my head)

Anyway, the next goal is to get him to sleep in the bassinet at night (which he actually did, for four hours, last night). It's going to require a lot of comforting and putting him back, but according to this book, it should take only 3 days for him to get out of the habit of sleeping with me. I will do this when we are both healthy again, and I'll keep you updated.

I'm hoping I feel better for Thanksgiving. No fun being sick and having a sick baby! Our only thing to do today is to go to Kohl's to buy matching sweaters for the boys. Picture time coming up!

The Holidays are Upon Us

Wow, this is the first week that my to-do list contains a hefty portion of holiday-related projects. I can't believe it's that time already! I love all the baking and craft-making and shopping. Even if I don't buy anything at the mall, I just like going, and enjoying the hustle and bustle of it all, and the Christmas music and decorations and the smell of the cinnamon wafting out of the holiday kiosks. Anyone want to go to the mall with me? ;-) Of course, we won't be doing quite as much as usual, since we still have a little one around, but it's all very exciting anyway. And Cole loves blinky lights. I've already whipped out my "Darkest Night of the Year" CD by Over the Rhine (my favorite band). And on Friday I'm planning to decorate. No shopping on Black Friday this time!

I just have to report with glee that Cole pulled a five-hour sleeping stretch last night, his longest yet! I feel so rested! Earlier in the evening, I even got to go to my Women's Bible Study and Andy had all four kids for the first time. Everything went well and I'm totally relieved. Although sometimes I feel like a first-time mom all over again, and I have several setbacks and frustrations, I can say that we are settling into some sort of routine in the household and Cole is doing pretty well! He stared at me for so long this morning, I thought perhaps I might see his first "real" smile. I didn't, but I think it will be soon.

DUH

Last night was much better. And you know what occurred to me this morning? That the night before I was up all p.m. with Cole, I refilled my Coke glass at least four times at Wesley's birthday party. Well no WONDER. My poor little Cole was bombarded with Caffeine!!!

So What do you think he's thinking?

Please don't kiss me!

Ack! It's a gigantic face! Help!

Is this my big sister? I hope she doesn't try to make me play dress-up with her in a few years...

....?

I'm TIRED! :-)

Okay, so I love this little guy so, so, so, so much, and I admit that when I see his beady little eyes peering at me at 2:30 in the morning, it gives my heart a little leap. But then, soon after, I am sweating, because I know that for the next four hours, Mr. Grunt E. Grunterson will be living out his little ritual of grunting, fidgeting, fussing and generally just NOT sleeping. I don't know what makes him suddenly so uncomfortable in the middle of the night (well besides the obvious - he's on his back instead of upright) but we don't get much sleep. Usually the first stretch (8-12 or so) is relatively peaceful, so I take my sleep when I can get it. Last night I was really feeling the fatigue, though. He doesn't nurse well in the side-lying position, and I've been trying to make his feedings more qualitative, so I have to sit up in bed to do this. Every hour. I am feeling it today!!

I am, however, having some success with daytime scheduling. I'm having to let him cry for a few minutes sometimes, just because I have to keep this house from falling apart somehow! But I think he's "getting it." He takes in more at a feeding and has been taking nice, long naps, in his SWING even!! Yahoo!

Tonight is Wesley's belated birthday party! I found a cute idea for party favors on Food Network (of all places :-)) and I have to go to the grocery store soon and get the stuff. It's going to be pretty informal (just pizza and games at Caesarland, like a Chuck E Cheeses), but Wesley has been counting down with great anticipation. I hope we all survive! ;-)

I <3 Food Network

So, ever since I was in the hospital after having Cole, I have been addicted to the Food Network. Seriously. I could watch it eight hours a day. Which is a pretty impressive thing considering that before now, I watched TV one hour a week. I didn't even know who Rachael Ray was until October 18, and now I see her everywhere (and I never miss her show)! We just watched the Iron Chef Challenge the other day and both dh and I found it thrilling. Are we sad or what?

What else is there to do when you're stuck bouncing on your exercise ball with a fussing baby? So, while normally, I would seriously consider tossing the TV out the window, right now I'm glad I have it, and I enjoy daydreaming about a time when I can actually find the time to cook some of those things I see. I have a lot of plans for cooking, entertaining and redecorating when I return to the land of the living. Oh, to dream!!

Getting All Deep and Stuff

Wow, my first posts on this blog o' mine were so pointless. Those were the days! :-) Now I'm much more depressing!

Yesterday was SOOOOO much better. Thank you, God, for your mercy. I survived (intact, even) a trip to IKEA with three kids, and Cole was great almost all day and Andy is starting to feel better. Yahoo! And last night was the best night we've had so far. I've been reviewing my "Happiest Baby on the Block" book (Harvey Karp) and brushing up on some of his tried-and-true baby-calming techniques, and Cole is responding well. The key to a good night's sleep - the last two nights anyway - seems to be wrapping him tightly in the Miracle Blanket (the only one he can't Houdini his way out of) and turning the white noise machine on High. I'm just praying that things continue to get better, and if they don't, that I get a big dose of Supernatural strength and patience to muddle through the Holiday Season and still know that "Joy" they keep talking about.

Audrey is making me SO happy lately. She is turning into a real little ARTIST!! I'm so thrilled. She draws her people just like I did when I was little, putting elaborate decorations on all their dresses and adding long flowing hair and fairy wings. And she goes through stacks of paper every day, just like I did. All I wanted was one artist, so I'm a happy camper. She is also doing really well with "homeschool."

Wesley has stayed good at school this week and stayed awake on the bus and dry at night. Oh Praise God!

Ashton is being very TWO. 'Nuff said.

Well Darn.

So I didn't totally escape the blues. I spent much of the last two days bursting into tears over everything! Can we say that I'm just a wee bit overwhelmed lately. I've been having such a hard time accepting everyone's help, and it's been a humbling experience to admit that I don't have it all together and my baby's not "easy" and I can't handle this without the support of my wonderful, wonderful friends. It's not Andy's fault at ALL, but I get frustrated knowing that while my husband is present all day long, he's unable to help me with anything and he himself requires more help than usual. His surgery coincided with baby's plans to become significantly more difficult. While Cole's still absolutely precious and darling, he viciously hates the carseat or the bouncy or the swing or anything other than my arms, really.

I'm trying to take all of this one day at a time, knowing it's fleeting, but it's hard not to panic when I start thinking that life could potentially be this hard for another 3 months or more. While I attempt to keep the house somewhat "clean" and attend to the needs of three young children besides the baby, cook, do errands and take care of my husband, I don't have time left to control my kids' behavior very well. I'm getting behavior reports from Wesley's class and news from the bus driver that he's falling asleep on the bus very day, and I'm embarrassed to be so disorganized and such a bad disciplinarian. I just feel like a big fat mess.

I am doing my best to rectify this situation as much as I possibly can. This starts with accepting the offers of friends to bring me groceries, or dinner, or relief for a couple of hours so I can get out of the house. The other thing I did was to make a daily checklist for Audrey and Wesley, which they LOVE and which my husband has promised to help implement when he is better. Wesley is going to bed earlier and I'm insisting he only eats healthy snacks with lots of protein for energy. Now, the idea is that if I have a nice structured schedule for the other kids, I should start working on that schedule with Cole? ;-)

He had a pretty fussy hour last night, but I swaddled him tight and got a good four-hour stretch of sleep afterwards...so there's hope even amongst the chaos. And I have wonderful, fabulous friends who have been so great, and a God who will never leave or forsake me and will give me the grace and strength to handle anything.

Please

Say a little prayer for Andy this morning, as he is getting surgery for a hernia. Pray for the dr's precision and success and for a fairly quick recovery (Andy is really nervous about being out of work for too long).

Also pray for me, because I'm already iffy and I'm afraid of growing resentful of him and the added burden it might cause to have him home and out of commission. Pray that I remember that I'm serving God, not men, and that my attitude and behavior is an example I'm setting for my kids!

Thanks!

Hmmm...What to say....

Well, last night was nice. No Grunting Hour. I still co-slept and didn't keep to a schedule overnight, but I've been sticking (loosely) to one during the day. 'Tis going okay. Cole is now two weeks old, so the crying is a little more frequent, but he's not really so bad. He likes to be held, and Mommy is trying to learn a lesson about slowing down and enjoying God's blessings.

Last night I had my Bible Study on Proverbs 31, and the verse of the day was 31:13, about the woman spinning wool and flax with "eager hands." So I thought about my goals. What is the balance between taking intentional time to nurture a newborn and "working eagerly"-producing/accomplishing/working diligently? 2 weeks into 4 kids and I'm feeling a tad bit overwhelmed. I have a to-do list I keep on an online forum, and I have some manic need to do every.single.thing on it, whether or not the list is 5 pages long. I feel idle if I don't. But while I'm scurrying around like a mad person trying to Get It All Done, my baby cries out from the swing and tugs at my heartstrings, and I end up frustrated that I "have" to stop and hold him and comfort/nurse him when I'm looking around at all the boxes on my list left unchecked. I don't know what I'm trying to prove or to whom I'm trying to prove it. But I do so much want to work eagerly and diligently to the glory of God, like the Proverbs 31 woman, but not at the expense of my sanity or the example I'm setting for my children. "Hardworking" is a great quality, but I think about the fruits of the Spirit - love, joy, peace, patience, gentleness...Am I willing to surrender those qualities just so I can feel accomplished?

Somehow there's a balance, and I pray that God shows me how I can both serve and nurture my family, and hopefully emerge at the other end with at least a few hairs left on my head.